


Will's World

by MaxWrite



Series: Bendt Series [2]
Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies), Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
Genre: Armpit Kink, M/M, Rimming, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:49:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxWrite/pseuds/MaxWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their first official date was supposed to be coffee and conversation but quickly becomes more than Benji was prepared for. Like meeting Will's mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will's World

**Author's Note:**

>   * First, I haven't said much about MI3 in this fic, but I have mentioned it a little, so if you're curious about the plot, [here's the Wiki article](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mission_impossible_3). 
>   * Second (and you could probably work this out on your own, but I figure I should mention it), Benji has no idea that Julia's alive. I just didn't want there to be any confusion about this being an AU in which Julia died or something, because it isn't. 
>   * Third, um, Harry Potter spoilers for the final book? Is… there anyone left out there who doesn't know what happens? Thought I'd mention it just in case.
> 


Will looked perfect, of course. Benji couldn't remember ever seeing him with a hair out of place, even during stressful missions. He was standing outside the cafe Benji frequented on a busy street near his flat. It was lined with shops and restaurants and all sorts of people were walking by; emo teenagers all in black, punks and skater boys, pixie girls with brightly-colored hair, crunchy-granola types with dreadlocks, hipster types with thick-rimmed glasses, and there were countless piercings and tattoos, and dogs trotting merrily alongside their masters.

Benji liked it here. He fit in here. He wasn't so sure that Will did, though. Perhaps no one else noticed Will, but Benji thought he was pretty hard to miss. He looked like he'd just stepped out of a J. Crew catalog in his dark blue jeans and sand-colored sweater. He looked amazing without even trying, but he didn't look like he belonged here amongst the stores selling vegan shoes, the street venders offering hemp jewelry, the homeless people asking for change.

He was browsing the menu posted outside the cafe. He looked up as Benji approached and he smiled his slightly crooked but entirely perfect smile.

"Hey, you," he said. He leaned in and kissed Benji's cheek just as a couple walked by and entered the cafe. Benji glanced shiftily at them. "Should I not have done that?" Will asked. "Are we gonna get beaten up or something?"

"No, this area's fairly liberal. You know me, I'm just a bit paranoid. And, well, I'm not used to being with someone. Not that we're together yet. Officially. It's just, you know, odd. Dating. I haven't been on a date in over a year. And now I'm babbling, d'you wanna go inside and sit?" Benji gestured toward the cafe door, but Will glanced toward the patio.

"It's a nice day, I was thinking we could…" He looked at Benji and jerked his thumb toward the wrought iron tables and chairs with the large umbrellas shading them.

"Like most fair-skinned shut-ins, I normally bring my computer down here and hide inside, away from the daylight, like some sort of nerdy vampire."

"Well, hurry up and go huddle underneath one of those giant umbrellas before you burst into, what, flames? Sparkles?"

"Not sparkles. Good lord, don't insult me."

"I'll run in and get our drinks. What do you want?"

"You don't have to do that. I can get my own drink."

"I know. I want to. Besides, you've already put out, so it's not like you'll owe me anything."

"Touché. All right, medium mint chocolate latte. Four sugars."

Will arched an eyebrow. "Mint chocolate?"

"I'm secure in my manhood."

"Four sugars? Really?"

"Don't judge me."

Will held up his hands. "No judgment. Be right back."

Benji watched him through the cafe's window, thought he looked awfully cute standing in the lineup and bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet. Then there was that perfect smile when he reached the counter and greeted the barista. Benji had interacted with that particular barista – a woman in her early twenties with cappuccino-colored skin, clear gray eyes and a head full of curls – more times than he could count and she'd never reacted to him the way she was reacting to Will. Benji knew flirting when he saw it, even if it was rather inept, awkward flirting. She probably wasn't even aware she was doing it. Will just had that effect on people. He'd done the same to Benji at first, except instead of going all shy and giggly like Barista, Benji had automatically gone to the snarky place. It was his natural defense; if an emotion dared wander too close to his consciousness, he tended to puff up like a puffer fish trying to ward off predators.

"One medium diabetes latte," Will said as he returned and found Benji at one of the tables. He set their coffees down and took his seat opposite Benji.

"Thanks. How've you been since the last mission?"

"Good. Recovering. Got a bit of stiffness in my shoulder leftover from the injury, but it's not too bad. What about you?" Will turned serious here. "You been okay?"

Benji was almost regretting mentioning the trouble he'd had sleeping after the Hendricks mission. It had been an off-hand comment, not at all meant to garner sympathy, but Will had taken it seriously. Well, yes, Benji had suffered from nightmares and cold sweats in the middle of the night for a while, but he was better now.

"I'm fine," he said casually, sitting back and focusing on getting the lid off his cup so he could blow on his beverage to cool it.

"Well, if you need to talk," Will said.

"It wasn't even a big deal before. The nightmares. I…" Benji paused, glanced around, checking how close the other patrons were seated. He then leaned forward and half-whispered, "After going through all that on the Hendricks mission – the whole nuclear, er, thing, and having to, um, take a guy out – I'd have been surprised, and frankly worried, if I hadn't had nightmares." He sat back in his seat while Will glanced around as well, also making sure they weren't being watched or listened to. "No sleeping problems this time, I promise," Benji said in a more natural volume. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about work."

"Right," Will agreed. He looked around, across the passing traffic to the shops on the opposite side of the street. "I think I like this area."

"Yeah? Not too hectic for you then?"

"Nah, it's nice. Really diverse. What's that shop over there?"

"Feminist sex toy shop."

"I see. And what's that one?"

"Vintage clothing. Get most of my t-shirts there."

"Where's your place?"

"Already?"

Will grinned. "I wasn't suggesting we go there. I'm just curious."

Benji twisted around and pointed up the sidewalk. "'Bout a block that way, then make a right. I'll show it to you later."

"Is there a gay area in your city?"

"Oh, yeah, the village isn't far from here. But I don't want to go there. It's so… rainbowy."

"This from the guy whose plaid shirts routinely give me migraines."

"What, this?" Benji pointed at the orange and blue number he had on over his _Monty Python_ shirt. "This is nothing compared to some of the Hawaiian nightmares that dwell in the village. Besides, if we go there, I'm pretty sure you'll be spirited away by a gaggle of gorgeous twenty-somethings in tight shirts."

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you. Taking you there would be like chucking a soup bone into a dog kennel."

Will blushed. "Come on."

"You do know what you look like, don't you?"

"I'm not nearly as pretty as you."

Benji nearly choked on his latte. "Beg pardon?"

"You are. Oh, you got a little something…" Will reached forward and wiped a bit of foam from the corner of Benji's mouth with his thumb. He swiped it away slowly and gently, his fingertips lingering on Benji's cheek before he pulled his hand away. He then sucked his thumb clean while looking right into Benji's eyes.

"You get weirded out when I do stuff like that, don't you?" he asked.

Benji gulped and shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling too warm to be drinking coffee. "I admit, I'm not used to this sort of attention."

"Does it bother you?"

"No, not as such." Benji glanced around. No one seemed to be watching them.

"And you're paranoid as hell. I thought you said this was a liberal area."

"It is, but that doesn't mean bigots don't pass through every now and then. They're out there, Will. Just waiting to rain on our parade."

"Our parade? Would that be a big, fabulous, rainbow parade?"

"More than likely, unfortunately. Trust me, we just haven't run into them yet, but they're there, all keyed up and ready to be horribly scandalized, ready to shield their children's eyes as soon as a pair of blokes get too close to each other."

"Are you saying I won't be permitted to hold your hand at any time during this date?"

"Haven't decided yet," Benji said, still glancing around.

"What was your last date like?"

"What?"

"You mentioned something about it being over a year since your last one. Can I assume it didn't go very well?"

Benji actually felt a shudder at the memory. He grimaced as he replied, "A friend of mine, Claire, is something of a matchmaker. She thought this guy she knew from work would look nice with me."

" _Look_ nice with you?"

"I know it sounds odd, but she seems to have an instinct for this sort of thing, so I finally acquiesced to her repeated insistence that I should give it a go, but no, the date did not go well. He was a bit bookish and quiet. And he didn't get my jokes, and when he _did_ actually laugh, he had this wheezy sort of laugh that made me think he was having an asthma attack. So when he actually _did_ have an asthma attack –"

"Jesus."

"– I didn't realize it until he'd managed to fish his inhaler out of his bag. And he prefers fast zombies to slow, and don't even get me started on that."

"Oh, I won't. I remember your epic rant. I still have flashbacks."

"And, _and_ , on top of that… he kept calling me Benny. _Benny_."

Will winced. "That _is_ awful."

"It really was."

"You don't even look like a Benny."

" _Thank_ you. That's what I said."

"That's almost worse than the fast zombie thing."

"Well, let's not start talking crazy now."

"What would she say about you and me together? Your friend Claire."

Benji smiled. "I've no idea. I'm sure she'd think you were gorgeous, but she probably wouldn't put you with me. At least, not strictly based on looks."

"Why's that?"

"Because. You know. You're…" Benji gestured vaguely in Will's direction. "And I'm…" And then he gestured at himself. "We're different. I'm normal, and you, you're just not."

Will smiled and shook his head. "You don't think you belong with me, do you? That's why you were so taken aback when I hit on you during the mission."

"No, I was taken aback because a large, naked man accosted me in the shower. Though granted, I didn't protest very much."

Will held up his hands. "I promise I won't do that again. At least not today."

"Or tomorrow. Or the next day."

Will lowered his hands. "Now, wait a minute. Day after tomorrow technically counts as the third date."

"No, it doesn't."

"Of course it does, you can't have a date that goes on continuously for three days. What is this, a marathon?"

"You're in town for three days. We'll be seeing each other all three of those days. Three consecutive days. That's not three dates, Will, that's just one."

"We go out, then we part ways and go to sleep, separately I assume. That's one date. Day two, we go out, then part ways again. That's two –"

"No, it isn't."

Will frowned and cocked his head. "How do you figure?"

"We planned this entire weekend together. We didn't plan it as three separate dates, we planned it as a single weekend."

"Okay, a date and a weekend are two completely different things."

"Not in this case."

"But we're going to at least three different places."

"Oh, I see, so dinner and a movie counts as two dates then, does it? Well, shit, we're going on at least six or seven dates this weekend then, aren't we?"

Will stared at Benji in disbelief. "You're insane."

"It's one date. One _long_ date, but one date nonetheless."

"Maybe it's several little dates within one date. Ever consider that?"

Benji considered. "Date-ception. It's possible."

"That's gotta count as more than one date."

"Maybe. But we're still not having any sex while you're here. We've got to do this properly. We're adhering to the third date rule on this one."

"Wow," Will said, staring at Benji in amused astonishment. "You weren't so concerned about what was proper when I joined you in the shower."

"I was in a very vulnerable state of mind. Shower sex and blowjobs were being offered up on a silver platter. My brain stopped functioning. I've got it back now, though. Rebooted, defragged and virus scanned. All clear."

"Okay. No sex. I can be a gentleman. Does this mean I don't get to make you breakfast tomorrow morning?"

"I wouldn't object to you coming over early and whipping something up."

"You're even more tightly wound than I'd thought."

"Contrary to what happened between us on that mission, I'm actually really uptight. I'm not good at… this."

"What, dating?"

"Longest relationship I've had was with my last mp3 player. Loved that bloody thing. Had it four years. That's a record for me."

"Never had a relationship last four years? With a human, I mean."

"Never had one last longer than one year, actually. You?"

"Yeah. One." Will leaned forward, put his elbows on the table and interlaced his fingers. He stared just past Benji's shoulder, suddenly looking tired. "He was a mess. Always in the middle of one crisis or another. I spent so much time trying to fix that guy." He paused, frowned, looked at Benji. "We probably shouldn't be talking about past relationships on a first date. Although I have to admit I'm curious about your romantic past. I know Benji the agent, Benji the hacker, Benji the comedian, Benji the drinking buddy. Outside of that, you're kind of a mystery."

"'Mysterious' is a good quality in a secret agent, isn't it? A little mystery, a little intrigue. Like you, Mr. Secret Ninja. Didn't see that one coming when I met you."

Will shrugged. "We all have our secrets, Benji. But I'd like it if you and I didn't."

Benji shook his head and smiled. "Smooth as silk, you are."

"I only seem that way because you're so nervous. I'm really not as cool as I come off."

Benji doubted that very much. Will was nothing _but_ cool. Sure, he freaked out a bit when you threw him off a ledge with nothing but magnets to break his fall, but other than that…

"What would you like to do today?" Benji asked him.

"This is your town. I'll follow your lead."

Before Benji could reply, Will reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. It must have vibrated, because Benji hadn't heard it ring. Will frowned at the screen, then looked apologetically at Benji.

"It's my mother," he said. Benji expected him to get up to take the call, move away for some privacy, but he didn't. "Hey, Ma," Will said into the phone. "I'm good, how're you?… No, I'm just out with a friend. Just having coffee. I'm about two hours and forty-five minutes east of my place, actually. No, I came out here to visit my friend, I'm staying the weekend. Might be. No, nobody you know, but I've talked about him before. Benji. Guy from work." Will laughed. "You might if things go well. Well, it's a bit early for that, this is only the first date. Ma? Ma, you didn't call just to pry into my personal life, did you?… You've gotta be kidding me. You want me to come all the way back down there for that?… What about your neighbor, what's-her-face, she's good with that kinda thing… well… yeah, I suppose. Could make a day of it. Ma, what're you doing? Are… are you _cooking_? Already? I never said we would… All right, hang on." Will lowered the phone from his face and looked at Benji. "How do you feel about a road trip?"

Benji's eyebrows shot up. "To visit your mother? Moving a bit quickly, aren't we?"

"I know it's kinda soon. But not really. We've known each other for months, right? And we've already… well, you know, the shower thing…"

"Why are you asking?"

"She's experiencing some, um, technical difficulties."

Benji perked up. "Technical how?"

"Computer stuff. She's not tech savvy. The people who normally help her with this sort of thing are me and her neighbor who happens to be gone for the weekend too. She didn't know I'd be out of town this weekend, so she called me."

"And you want to drive two hours and forty-five minutes all the way there just to fix her computer."

"Just two hours, actually. It's my place that's the extra forty-five minutes from here."

"Okay, so you want to drive two hours just to fix a computer."

Will shrugged. "She's my Ma."

Benji sighed. He couldn't argue with that. "And you want me to go with you?"

"She's excited to meet you. I may have talked about you some."

"Uh-huh. What's 'some'? Like, 'Hey, Mum, there's this guy at work I really like hanging out with,' or more like, 'Hey, Mum, there's this guy I shagged in the shower this one time, I think I really like him'?"

"The former. Mostly."

_"Mostly?"_

Will ignored Benji's horrified expression. "She says we should come down and stay a while since the drive's so long, have some food, hang out. She loves entertaining. As soon as the idea of us dropping by popped into her head, she started puttering around the kitchen, grabbing pots and pans. I could hear the noises in the background, Benji, she's probably chopped an entire onion by now." Will raised the phone to his ear again, then lowered it. "Yep. I can hear the sizzling."

"Sizzling?"

"She's sauteing things."

"Already?"

"That's Ma."

Benji shook his head, trying to get all the incoming information to organize itself. "Hang on, exactly what have you said to her about me?"

Will shrugged sheepishly. "Just that you're a good guy. Funny. Smart… Cute."

"So, she knows you're gay."

"Well, yeah. I'm nearly forty, she'd figured it out by now."

Benji supposed Will had a point. Benji's parents knew too, but they didn't talk about it and they certainly wouldn't want to meet some guy Benji had slept with once. Not that Will was just some guy, but that was the way Benji's parents would see him. The relationship would have to be really serious for Benji to bring somebody home to meet his parents.

"I was not planning on meeting your mother this early in the game," Benji said. "I'm not dressed for this, I-I'm not prepared."

"We can swing by your place if you wanna change. But you look great. You look like yourself, which is more than great. You're perfect."

"You really want this, don't you?"

"What?"

"This. Everything. This relationship, me meeting your mum, the whole package. If I didn't know better, I'd say this entire thing was a set-up."

"I did not set this up. Ma and her various crises are an inevitability, like death and taxes. I'm actually not surprised this is happening today. The woman has impeccable timing. Look, this doesn't have to be part of the date. If this wasn't a date, if we were just hanging out, you'd come with me and you'd just be a friend tagging along while I visit my mother. Why does this have to be different?"

"She _knows_ this is a date. You told her. You can't unring that bell."

"I'll tell her to cool it. I promise she won't make a fuss, I'll make sure of it. Benji, I don't want to say goodbye yet. This is the first time we've seen each other since the mission, it's been nearly two months. I want you with me."

This side of Will always disarmed Benji, this level of honesty about his attraction. Will had seemed such a guarded person at first, one who kept his secrets, his feelings, close to the vest. And as far as Benji was concerned, attraction was something you kept to yourself. You sat around hoping that somehow your desires would be broadcast into the universe and transmitted into the brain of the object of your affection and then _they'd_ do something about it so you wouldn't have to. Which Benji supposed was essentially what had happened here, but after mutual attraction was established, weren't you supposed to shut up about it? It didn't do anybody any good to go around talking about it and being all honest. The last thing you want is for someone to get a big head or something, not that there was any risk of that with Benji.

Well, Benji couldn't say no. Will had put on his best "sad puppy" face, which was somehow sexy as hell because everything Will's face ever did was sexy as hell. "All right, fine. I'll come. But you owe me."

* * *

Mrs. Brandt was single and nearing sixty. She lived with three cats in a house that literally looked happy. It was painted sunny yellow, and the roof, front door and window shutters were all pale blue. There was also a blue porch swing with a basket of yarn and knitting needles sitting underneath it. And sitting before the front door was an off-white cat with blue eyes that narrowed to slits as Benji and Will exited Will's car.

"Hey, Simon," Will said in a slightly higher pitched voice. "Hey, boy, what's shakin'?"

Simon the cat got up with an annoyed "mrrrrow" and trotted off. He hopped down off the side of the porch and disappeared around the back of the house.

"He's the bitchiest of the three," Will said as he and Benji approached the house.

"Implying that there's such a thing as a non-bitchy cat," Benji said.

"Oh, there is, believe me. Simon's kind of a snob, but the other two aren't nearly as bad. Nicholas is the laziest. He probably won't bother coming up to say hi, either, but that's mostly because he won't want to get up. If you go to him, he'll let you pet him, though. Edgar…" Will laughed. "Edgar will come up to investigate, then probably get startled by his own tail and run off to chase something imaginary. He's the friendliest one."

Benji stopped at the porch steps while Will stepped up and approached the door. Benji looked over his shoulder at the neighborhood, squinting behind his aviators. "It's too quiet."

"What, not enough cars honking for you?"

There weren't _any_ cars honking at all. Benji felt almost cut off from civilization. "What's that smell?"

"What smell?"

"That. You don't smell that? What is that?"

Will sniffed the air. "I don't smell anything."

Benji finally caught on. "No smog."

"Ah. Think your lungs can handle all this clean air?"

"Dunno. Might have to run back out here in a bit to turn on your car and hang out with the exhaust pipe for a while… Is that birdsong I hear?… Was that an actual squirrel I just saw?"

"Let's get you inside before your head explodes, city boy."

Will pulled open the screen door and then opened the blue door behind it. To Benji's surprise, it was unlocked, and Will called for his mother as he pushed it open. He then gestured for Benji to go in ahead of him. Benji stepped up onto the porch and went inside the well-lit house and was hit in the face by the most amazing cooking smells. Daylight was pouring in through various windows, giving the place a pretty glow. Photos of smiling people, some of whom resembled Will, littered the walls. The hardwood was slightly scuffed but still sturdy. The living room, just off the front foyer, sported a sofa and chairs with floral upholstery and there was an antique-looking wooden coffee table. There were flowers in vases on various surfaces. The TV was a large wooden affair that sat on the floor.

They were immediately joined by a sleek, chocolate-brown cat who meowed incessantly at them and wound its way around their legs. He was smaller than Simon and his eyes were wide, curious and golden.

"Hey, Edgar," Will said. He bent over to scratch Edgar's head. The cat stopped moving and purred contentedly, leaning into Will's touch. "Wanna come up?" Will picked him up and cuddled him. It was just about the sweetest thing Benji had ever seen. It was warmer outside now and Will had long since removed his sweater, leaving him in just a faded, black tee that showed off his arms. Something about those big, manly muscles juxtaposed with a cuddly kitten made Benji all melty inside. He'd had no idea just how much the sight of a gorgeous, well-built man cuddling a cat would affect him, but apparently it was a lot. Benji didn't even like cats.

Will let Edgar climb up onto his shoulders, behind his head. He hunched a bit to give Edgar a proper resting place, and Edgar settled up there, looking down on the world and Benji with his wide eyes.

"Say hi to Benji, Edgar," Will said, angling Edgar's head toward Benji. Edgar looked at Benji and emitted a soft, ringing purr.

"Hullo, Edgar," Benji said uncertainly. "It's nice to meet you. I'm a bit of a dog person, though, sorry about that. Don't hold it against me."

Simon reappeared, trotting proudly down a short hallway that extended from the front foyer. He must have come in through a back door. Will's mother came with him, appearing from around a corner. She was a short woman with a round, friendly face, a healthy, hourglass figure and light brown, shoulder-length hair. She was smiling as soon as she appeared, her small eyes squinting cheerfully at them. Will must've gotten his eyes from his father, but Benji could see Will's smile in this woman's face. She wore a casual, blue, knee-length wrap dress and her feet were bare. She held her arms out to Will before she'd even reached him.

"Hello, William," she said gleefully, hurrying over.

Will bent over to hug her. "Hey, Ma. Good to see you."

"It's been too long."

"I know. Work. You know how it is."

Edgar jumped down from Will's shoulders and began meowing his way around Benji's legs as if to alert Mrs. Brandt to Benji's presence. When she released Will, she gave Edgar a reproachful look.

"I see him, Edgar, calm down." She then looked up and gave Benji her warm smile. She stood there a moment and just looked at him. "And you must be Benji."

"I must be. Hi." Benji held out his hand, but she ignored it and wrapped herself around his middle instead. Taken aback, Benji smiled nervously at Will and hugged her back. Will merely stood by, looking amused.

"Told you she was excited to meet you," he said.

"It's a pleasure to meet her too. I mean, you too, Mrs. Brandt," Benji said as they disengaged, or mostly disengaged; Mrs. Brandt's arms remained around Benji's waist.

"I'm so pleased William's brought you," she said. "My, you _are_ a cutie pie. Will." She turned to her son. "He's such a cutie pie."

"I know, Ma. I have eyes."

Benji proceeded to blush profusely. "Thank you, Mrs. Brandt."

"And you're British," she said. Then to Will, "He's _British_."

"I know," Will said. "I admit, the accent was kind of a selling point. But listen, Ma, this isn't a big deal, okay? We're friends, Benji and me, nothing serious –"

"Oh, nonsense," Mrs. Brandt cut him off. "You've gushed about him, William. I haven't seen you so excited about a man since Obama got elected."

Will emitted a defeated little sigh. Benji blushed even more.

Mrs. Brandt looked at Benji again and said, "Please, call me Emily."

"Right. Emily," Benji said. "Thank you. For inviting us, I mean. You shouldn't have. I mean, you didn't have to. Not that I didn't want to come, course I did. No reason not to want to. If Will tells you otherwise, he's just joking. I wanted to come. Definitely. Nothing wrong with meeting Will's family so soon. Not that this is soon. No reason it should be too soon. We're really friends mostly. Nothing serious has happened between us, you know that, right? I mean, unless you heard about the, um… This is a lovely home you've got here." He was finally able to shut himself up, but not before turning forty shades of red in quick succession. He glanced at Will, who had covered his eyes with a hand but was smiling and even biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"William was right, you _are_ a nervous talker," Emily said.

"It's a sickness, really, I think I need help," Benji said.

"Well, it's no trouble having you over. I love meeting William's friends. Especially when they might be more than just –"

"Ma," Will interrupted. When they looked at him, he was minutely shaking his head, telling her no, while staring at the floor and shuffling his feet.

To Benji she whispered, "He's so uptight," as she began guiding him away.

"I'm right here, I can hear you," Will called after them as he followed.

* * *

Emily Brandt was very chatty, a little gossipy and altogether pleasant. She was the kind of mother who insisted on feeding you past the point of fullness and who tutted loudly when you didn't clean your plate. The three of them sat on the deck in the backyard where there was an outdoor dining table set up, complete with large umbrella to shield Benji's pale skin. Edgar had been right on their heels as they'd exited through the back door. He alternately hung around the table, begging for scraps, and dashed off to chase after bugs and chew grass. Simon joined them shortly thereafter and sat in a corner of the deck, watching Benji and Will with disdain. About ten minutes after they'd exited the house, the final cat, Nicholas – a pudgy, gray tabby – loped outside and blinked sleepily at the newcomers. With a mournful, slightly questioning meow, he approached Benji first to sniff at him. When Benji reached down to scratch his head, Nicholas decided this was as good a place as any to settle and he flopped over onto his side at Benji's feet beneath the table.

When Benji looked up again, a second portion of hunter's pie had made its way onto his plate and his pink lemonade had been topped off.

"William tells me you're the best technician he's ever worked with," Emily said to Benji.

"He is," said Will. "Probably better than half the techs in any company you can name."

Benji wondered how many times he'd have to blush today. "I'm all right, I guess. It comes naturally to me. Not a big deal."

"Don't be modest," said Will. "He can hack into anything. Um, not that that's required all that much in our line of work. Or ever, really. Sometimes problems require some unorthodox solutions, but not often."

Emily was under the impression that Will had a harmless desk job at some company that made airplane parts. A little less than a year ago, her belief would have been at least half true. She didn't know about the IMF. Neither did Benji's family, but thankfully most of Benji's family was still back in England. It was a lot easier lying to people from thirty-four hundred miles away. It was clear that Will was uncomfortable lying to his mother; he kept avoiding her eyes as they talked about his job. He'd fill his mouth with food or drink to avoid speaking, then once he'd swallowed he'd give her one- or two-word answers and shove more food in his mouth.

Of course, once the conversation turned to Benji, Will's eyes lit up and he'd said too much and was now having to back peddle.

"The point is, he's the best I've worked with," Will said. "There's nothing he can't do."

"Well, you're no slouch," Benji said. To Emily, he added, "His brain is like a computer. I've never seen anything like it. He's like one of those mentalists on late-night chat shows who can remember long lists of items or names. He can pull information out of his head as easily as if you typed it into a search engine, but he's more organized than a search engine. He's brilliant."

Emily beamed at Benji, clearly pleased to see that the object of her son's affections was just as keen on him. Then she looked to Will, who was watching Benji with the softest look in his eyes and a bit of a blush on his cheeks. He then glanced down sheepishly and began swirling his lemonade around in his glass.

"He's just awful at taking compliments," Emily said to Benji.

"Has his mind always worked that way?" Benji asked. "His memory."

"Oh, yes, ever since he was a boy. He would remember details about things that no one else ever did. Every time I lost anything, William would know exactly where it was. Once, someone scratched my car at the grocery store while we were shopping. The car that had been parked on the scratched side of ours was long gone before we got out, hadn't left a note or anything, but William remembered their license, the car's color, model, everything. And he was always the one to remember names of acquaintances and any personal details he ever heard about them. I'm awful with names and faces. It got to the point I was afraid to leave the house without him, lest I offend someone with my awful memory or have to ID someone in a crime."

Will smiled. "Since I've been gone, exactly how many perps have you had to ID, Ma?"

"That's not the point, William."

"Yeah, William, that's not the point," Benji chimed in. He smiled brightly at Will when Will playfully narrowed his eyes at him.

"He was so popular with the girls in school," Emily went on. "He was in third grade when he came home one day and told me that a little girl in his class had asked him to be her boyfriend. In fourth grade, three more stepped forth to make their intentions known, and so it went. He was a beautiful boy, sweet, charming, excellent grades. And non-threatening to the girls, on account of him being a homosexual."

"Ma," Will sighed.

"Women always know, even when they aren't sure what it is that they know," Emily said to Benji. "Those girls sensed something about William, something a little unattainable. They were like bees to honey with him."

At that, Emily sat back in her seat and looked suspiciously innocent as she sipped her lemonade. Benji looked uncertainly at Will, who, at that moment, emitted a heavy sigh as he glanced skyward with a knowing smile on his face.

"Have at it, Ma," he said. "I know you're just bursting over there."

"Oh, I don't know what you're talking about," Emily said.

Will looked at Benji. "She wants to talk about me some more, but she's waiting for permission. I don't know why, it's not as if she's held back up to this point."

"Have I said too much?" Emily asked, placing a hand on her chest. "You should have said something, I would have held my tongue."

"Ma. It's fine. I'm not hiding anything from Benji."

Benji raised his hand. "Whatever it is, if it's a big deal, I don't mind if you don't tell me. I'm not good with secrets, they stress me out, I always feel like they'll come bursting out of my mouth any minute in front of the wrong person and then my hands get all clammy and then I do this nervous giggle, it's awful, there's a snort involved –"

"It's not exactly a secret, Benji, dear," Emily said. "It's just Will's coming out process. It's a touchy subject."

"It is not a touchy subject," Will said. "Not with Benji."

This seemed to be the go-ahead Emily had been looking for. Despite her innocent display mere seconds ago, she got comfortable, actually shifting her seat closer to Benji's, settling in to begin her tale. "He finally came out to me just before high school graduation, and up until that point he'd brought home a steady string of girlfriends. Each relationship lasted no longer than six months. All lovely girls. Lovely, clueless girls. They'd eventually grow tired of waiting for him to, um, stop being such a gentleman, if you know what I mean."

"Even the cats know what you mean," Will informed her.

"You know how young ladies are. They become so determined when denied. Anyway, he finally told me the day before graduation. I just hugged him and said I'd always known. He asked me if I was disappointed, and honestly I was more disappointed in the question than anything else. Because it meant I hadn't done my job. He didn't know that it didn't matter to me, which meant he wasn't clear on who I was as a person, as a parent. I hadn't made it clear and I should have. Maybe he would have come out sooner."

"That wasn't your fault," Will said, his brow furrowed. "I knew who you were. You were amazing, you never judged anybody, but it's always different when it's your kid."

Emily shook her head. "It wasn't different for me. I just wanted you to be happy."

Will smiled warmly at her. "Well, good job, 'cause I'm plenty happy now."

Benji sat quietly while they had a moment together, Emily reaching across the table to take her son's hand.

"I just wish you hadn't had to waste time, years, dating the wrong people," Emily sighed.

"Who else would I have dated in this sleepy little town?" Will asked with a chuckle. "Even if I'd come out to you sooner, I still would've been closeted at school and everywhere else. Besides, doesn't matter who you are; you're probably going to spend a good chunk of time dating the wrong people no matter what."

Emily shook her head sadly at Will, then looked at Benji and said, "One day when he was sixteen, I came home early from work and heard him attempting sex with a young lady."

"Oh, my god," Will groaned. He took his hand back and used it to cover his face.

"Bless him," Emily went on. "He tried. He really tried. But it was so over the top, far too overdone. It was the only time he ever displayed any flair for the dramatic at all. You would've thought he had an entire production crew in his bedroom, what with all the ruckus they were making."

Will came up from behind his hand and said, "Can we talk about something else now?"

"Oh, I'm not embarrassing you, am I?"

"Anything at all?"

"I thought you didn't have secrets from Benji."

"I don't, but anything sex-related I can tell him myself. How's Aunt Sara been doing? She okay?"

Emily frowned. "You're asking about your Aunt Sara? You can't stand her."

"I don't hate her, Ma, she just frustrates me."

"She infuriates you."

"Yeah, well, that's how badly I want to change the subject."

Emily shrugged. "She's fine. Still loopy as ever. You should hear her latest get-rich-quick scheme."

"You didn't give her money, did you?"

"Now, why would you think I'd do that?"

"Because I've met you."

"We have company, William."

"I told you, I don't keep secrets from Benji, so did you? Tell me you didn't."

Emily avoided his gaze and mumbled, "You know your Aunt Sara."

"Ma," Will sighed. "You cannot keep bailing her out. She's got to learn to stand on her own."

"She's my sister."

"How much? How much did you give her?"

"We are not discussing this in front of your boyfriend."

Will glanced at Benji. Benji averted his eyes and began nibbling on one of his thumb nails. Neither himself, nor Will, had used the word 'boyfriend' yet. Also, this was a conversation he knew he shouldn't be present for, this discussion of Aunt Sara. Will didn't really have to tell him every little thing, did he?

Benji sat back in his seat and looked down to where Nicholas was lounging on the deck. He slipped his foot out of his sandal and rubbed at Nicholas's face with his big toe. Nicholas's tail thumped on the deck and he purred loudly.

"We're finishing this conversation later," Will said.

"Fine, fine. _After_ the teacake."

"My god, there's more food? How can there be more food?"

"There's always more food, dear."

After dessert, Emily stole Benji away, figuring he was probably the best person to fix her computer. He was escorted into a very floral bedroom, followed by Edgar who meowed for attention. Benji was guided down into a floral armchair by the window and a pink laptop was placed on his lap. He turned on the machine, and as soon as the screen came up, he nodded.

"Ah, there's your problem," he said.

"We haven't gotten to the problem yet, love, it's still booting up."

"No, I see it already, no need to go any further." He looked up at her. "Your operating system, if you'll pardon my French, is absolute shite."

She raised her eyebrows at him, but then looked at her computer and said, "I see."

"It's counter-intuitive, filled with security holes and is about as unstable as my Uncle Edward at a wedding with an open bar. I can fix it for now, but it'll only be temporary. The issue will come back. It's inherent in the system."

"What should I do?"

"The machine itself seems fine, otherwise, so what you need is a new operating system."

"And what's involved in that?"

"I can download and install one now, configure it, get you all set up."

"And how long will that take?"

"For the one I'm thinking of, an hour, maybe two depending on how much tweaking I'll have to do for you. Have you got any blank CDs lying about?"

Twenty minutes later, Will poked his head into the room. "What's taking so long?"

"New operating system," Benji explained without looking up from his typing.

"You were right, William, he is good at this," said Emily, who was perched on Benji's armrest. "You need to hold onto this one."

"Benji, what the hell?" Will asked, coming toward them. "I sent you up here to solve a simple computer issue."

"Which is exactly what I'm doing." Benji finally looked up at him. "After all this time working with me and hearing me complain about shoddy operating systems and evil companies who've got a monopoly on the entire industry, you saw fit to allow your mother, your _mother_ , to continue using this buggy piece of substandard software? Have I taught you nothing?"

Emily shook her head at Will. "I'm shocked, William."

"Ooookay, I think you two have spent way too much time together," Will said. "How much longer, Benji?"

"Not long. 'Bout an hour."

"An _hour_?"

"I refuse to do a half-arsed job, especially for your mum."

With a sigh, Will relented. "All right. Ma, is my old room still my old room?"

"Of course it is, you know I'd never change a thing in there," said Emily.

"Good. I'm tempted to stick around and supervise you two, 'cause who knows what you've been talking about up here all by yourselves, but something tells me it'll be less embarrassing for me if I just get out of the way."

"He likes you very much," Emily said quietly when Will had departed.

"I'm quite fond of him as well. Don't tell him I said that."

"My lips are sealed. Who asked who out, if I may ask?"

Benji had to think for a moment. "Will did. I think. Sort of. It's complicated."

"How did he ask? Was he shy? He's always been a bit shy, that one."

Benji had to think again. He certainly couldn't tell her what had happened. Not only did that story involve a lot of classified information that could very well get her killed, but it also involved a quick and dirty fuck session in the shower of a seedy flat. Benji left out as much as possible: "I'd been having a rather difficult day at work and, erm, Will thought it might cheer me up if he told me how much he liked me. And then he asked me out for coffee and here we are. The end."

"That's lovely," she said, beaming at him. "That's my Will, always so concerned about others."

"Yeah, he's a great guy."

"He tends to take on a lot. Thinks he's got to save the world, be everything to everyone. He needs someone who can remind him to relax. I try, but I'm his mother, and I don't know many men whose mothers don't stress them out. He needs someone he can laugh with. I think you're good for him, Benji. You make him smile. You lift the heaviness from his eyes."

Benji thought about those words, thought about the Will he'd first met and the Will he knew now. Will did seem a bit lighter these days. Granted, when they'd first met, Will had just been shot at a bunch of times, watched the Secretary die and been thrust into a near hopeless and likely deadly situation with three people he didn't know. Anyone would be tense and "heavy-eyed" under those circumstances, but Will's uptightness had struck Benji as a basic character trait, not a product of the situation. He'd definitely lightened up some since, despite going on similarly life threatening (though not quite world threatening) missions. Benji had thought that had simply been due to Will being back out in the field, doing what men like him did best. But perhaps it was the company he was keeping as well.

Benji couldn't say that wasn't flattering, but it also scared him. Now it wasn't just Will's hopes that were resting on him, but also Will's mother's. Hell, even Edgar seemed to want Benji to stick around.

"May I ask you a personal question?" asked Emily.

"Sure."

"We were talking about William coming out earlier, and I was just wondering about you. When did you come out to your parents?"

"I'll let you know."

"You're joking."

"Well, sort of. We never had an actual discussion. They know, but they're not the sort to talk about such things. Anytime we get even a bit too close to the subject, Dad goes quiet and Mum leaves the room, suddenly remembering some very important thing she's forgotten to do. They can barely discuss their own feelings with each other, let alone their son's sexuality. You should've seen the sex talk my father gave me when I was twelve. It involved a rather old sex-ed book for young people that he'd checked out of the public library and a lot of mumbling and gesturing and eye-contact avoiding. I learned more from the graffiti in the restrooms at school. I told them once that I probably wasn't ever going to find the right woman. Mum swore she heard the phone and got up and left, and Dad was quiet for a full minute and then started talking about politics. So, they know. They'd simply prefer that they didn't."

He felt her hand on his shoulder and looked up at her sad face.

"I'm sorry, Benji."

"No, no, it's okay. It's what I always expected. There are members of the family that we don't ever talk about and we all know why and I always knew I'd be one of them. Honestly, I prefer it this way. I've always been drawn to the black sheep role. The loner, you know."

"Are they still over in England? Your parents."

"Yeah. I talk to them every few months. They're fine. I know they love me. And there are other family members who don't have a problem with who I am and I'm in touch with them a lot, so it's not all awful." He offered her a smile when she didn't seem appeased. "Thank you for your concern, but it's all right, really."

She squeezed his shoulder, then released it and clasped her hands on her thigh. "Do you think about getting married? You can do that now in a few states. Oh, and Canada."

"Not sure it's for me, really."

"Mm, those northern winters must be brutal."

"Er, no, I meant marriage. Dunno if I could find anyone willing to put up with me for the rest of his life."

Emily said nothing and Benji knew what she was thinking. She was like any other parent, eager to have her son find someone special and settle down. The fact that she didn't care that that person was going to be a man was not lost on Benji. He felt a lump rising in his throat and he kept his face lowered to hide his eyes from her. He didn't need her seeing him having all sorts of feelings all over the place. He'd only just met the woman. Instead, he tried to concentrate on the fact that she'd basically just asked if he'd ever consider marrying her son; Benji much preferred his fidgety-clammy-hands nervousness to his lump-in-the-throat emotion.

He got Emily's computer up and running smoothly and then went off to find Will, who he located in the mid-sized bedroom just down the hall. It was a typical teenager's room from the eighties – twin bed, a single nightstand next to it equipped with a lamp that was currently lighting the space as the sun set outside, and a digital clock radio that looked too new to be from the eighties. There was a desk with a desk chair on wheels. There was a book shelf and wall-mounted shelves that held trophies and medals and pictures and action figures. Will was seated on the bed with an old magazine in his hands. He looked up and smiled as Benji stepped inside.

"Hey, you," he said softly. "Close the door, come sit."

Benji shut the door and went and perched next to Will. The bed creaked beneath him. "What's that?"

"Cars." Will held up the magazine, showing Benji the old, yellowed pages depicting glossy, eighties sports cars with bikini-clad women draped over them. "Cars and girls. It was still hidden under the floor boards. I guess Ma never found it."

"You tried desperately to be straight, didn't you?"

"Not really. I knew what I was. I just wanted to convince everybody else that I wasn't what I was. Figured if someone accidentally found something like this in my room, it couldn't hurt."  
He put the magazine aside on the nightstand. "So, you and she finally finished talking about me?"

"We were not talking about you. Well, not _only_ about you. She's awfully taken with the idea of you and me together."

"Yeah, sorry about that. She's not pressuring you, is she?"

"Not unless you consider marriage-proposal-by-proxy pressure."

Will looked mortified. "She didn't."

"It's fine. It's nice, actually. She just wants you to be happy." Benji glanced around the room, toward the shelves with the trophies. "What are those for?"

"Track and field mostly. Some piano. One archery."

Benji looked at him in surprise. "You play piano?"

"Yeah, I don't like to talk about it. I'd have told you eventually, but it's silly, I'm not very good."

"Do you still play? Wait, you don't sing, do you?"

"Benji, come on," Will laughed.

"Oh, my god, you do! Well, now you _have_ to play me something. You know I'm going to make you play me something, don't you? Is there a piano here? Keyboard? Anything? Where's my phone, I've got to get this on video."

With a laugh, Will stopped Benji from retrieving his phone from his pocket. "Knock it off, will you? I had a keyboard, but I sold it after I left home. Needed the cash. I was sad to see it go, but now, seeing that crazed look in your eye, I think I'm relieved it's not here anymore."

Benji shook his fist at him in a super-villain sort of way. "One day, Brandt. I will make you play for me if it's the last thing I do."

"Over my dead body, Dunn."

"Mind if I look around?" Benji asked. Before Will could answer, Benji stood and wandered toward the bookshelf. It was lined with novels; fiction, a lot of classic sci-fi and mystery. Benji nodded his approval, then turned his attention to the old action figures lined up on top.

"Ma must've put those out," Will said. "I was eighteen when I left home, I didn't still display toys in my room."

"These are not toys, Will." Benji picked up a rather muscly little man in a loin cloth who was wielding a stick that had a spiky ball hanging from a chain stuck to one end. He had yellow plastic hair and wore a menacing scowl. "These are _collector's items_. Very different."

"Ah, I see."

"They're probably worth quite a bit by now too. One word, William: eBay. Too bad they're not still in their original packaging."

"I think Ma would lose her shit if I tried to sell any of this stuff now."

"I had this one too," Benji said, indicating the loin-clothed gentleman in his hands. "Wanted to dress up as him for Halloween when I was sixteen, but I didn't quite have the chest for it."

"Bet you would've made a cute warrior back then."

"Nah. My physique was more 'Shaggy' from _Scooby-Doo_ than anything else. Also, I'd started gaining a bit of weight by that point and there was no way me and my boy tits were about to be caught shirtless outside of the gym class locker room. Went as Batman instead. The suit's got muscles built in so it didn't matter what you looked like underneath. And the mask." Benji grinned at Will. "I rather liked wearing that mask."

"Hey, yeah, about that, what is with you and masks? Why are you so enamored with playing dress-up? Is it a kinky thing? 'Cause I might be able to get behind that."

Benji cocked his head at him. "It isn't obvious? Will, every young nerd longs to be something they're not. Something bigger, better. I was never more confident than on Halloween when I was younger. I wasn't Benji anymore on that night, I wasn't the awkward, techie geek. I was Batman or Darth Vader or a zombie. Even did a bit of community theater for a while, you know. Something in me always wanted to perform, to make people laugh, to put on a costume and be something amazing for a while. Never did have the balls to seriously pursue anything in the arts, though. My place was always behind a keyboard. That was where I could be confident in my own abilities without aid of a disguise."

He put the action figure back in its place and wandered over to Will's trophies. "I suppose that's why I've always identified with super heroes. By day they were mild mannered, soft spoken, ordinary, overlooked. But once they got their disguises on, they transformed. I always bought into it more when the hero wore a mask. It seemed silly to me that no one could tell who Clark Kent was. I mean, come on, glasses? That's all it takes, a pair of bloody glasses? _Pfft!_ Sorry, not buying that. A mask makes more sense. It can change the way you feel, the way you speak, the way you move, not to mention the anonymity. A mask has power."

He picked up one of the trophies, a cheap, plastic thing with a little golden man standing atop it in a running pose. "You're a bit of a super hero yourself, you know," he said. "You've got super speed, super memory, an amazing body. And you can fly."

Will laughed. "Well, thank you for the comment about my body, but I'm pretty sure I haven't conquered that last one you said there."

Benji put the trophy down and looked at him. "No, you can. Don't you remember?"

"What, the computer array?"

"Yeah."

"That wasn't flying, Benji, that was falling."

"But you didn't hit the ground – er the fan. That's the art of flying, Will, when you can throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Will smiled. _"Hitchhiker's Guide."_

Benji raised his eyebrows, impressed. "Very good."

Will stood and came toward him. "You know I couldn't have done that without you. I was only able to 'fly' because you were able to catch me." He came to stand before Benji. "We're a team, you and me. If I'm a super hero, so are you. You're the super-genius techie guy."

"That's not a super power."

"Like hell it's not. Just look at your eyes."

"What about them?"

"Heterochromia."

Benji nodded. Will was referring to the little island of rust-brown that was afloat in the sea of steely blue of Benji's right iris. His left eye was almost completely blue with just a few flecks of the other color. "It's _sectoral_ heterochromia," Benji corrected him, "and it's not nearly as cool as full heterochromia."

"No, no, no, it's a mutation. It's a very groovy mutation. I've got news for you, Benji. You are a mutant."

Benji laughed. " _X-Men_ , my god."

"Love me some _X-Men_."

"Now I _am_ impressed." Benji stared at Will for a moment. He felt all kinds of obnoxious butterflies in his belly, so he looked away.

"What?" Will asked.

"Hm?"

"You were looking at me… I dunno, differently."

"I guess I'm seeing you differently."

"Is that good?"

"I feel a bit like either throwing up or passing out. Knowing me, that probably means it's excellent."

"Should I ask how you saw me before?"

"I saw you as… a super hero, I suppose."

"And now?"

"A super hero. But maybe a super hero with a nerdy sidekick."

Will stepped even closer and took Benji's hand, then leaned in and kissed his mouth. They'd barely touched all day. Before today they hadn't seen each other in weeks, and now Benji was discovering how much he'd been craving Will's touch. It was Benji who escalated the kiss, who opened his mouth and pushed his tongue forth. He let go of Will's hand first so he could lay both his hands on Will's chest and feel him. Will's arms went around him and held him tight.

Will Brandt did strange things to Benji. He could make Benji feel bold and daring and even sexy with just a glance or a few words. He made Benji do mad things, like beg to be fucked up against a wall or barge into a room and shoot a man dead without a second thought. He made Benji feel unlike himself. He was a living, breathing mask. Benji kissed Will now like he belonged there in Will's arms, because that was what he felt. In this moment he was expert-marksman Benji. He was shower-fuck Benji. He was Will Brandt's boyfriend Benji.

"Boys?" said Emily's voice from outside the door.

And just like that, he was awkward, nervous (slightly out of breath) Benji.

The kiss broke. Benji tensed and tried to pull away, but Will held firm.

"Shh, it's okay," Will murmured to him. He then called, "Yeah, come in."

The door opened and Emily poked her head in. She smiled at them before Benji could avert his eyes. He couldn't look at her. He was too embarrassed, having been caught in the middle of an obvious make-out session. Good thing she hadn't turned up just a few minutes later; they'd probably have been horizontal by then.

"Sorry to interrupt," she said. "It's just that it's getting late and you've got quite a drive ahead of you."

"Yeah, we do," Will sighed. "We should get going."

"I was actually thinking you could stay here and head out in the morning. I hate to think of you driving long hours at night."

"We couldn't," Benji said.

"Well…" Will said, craning his neck to look back at his old twin bed.

"You're not serious," Benji said.

Will looked at him. "Could be fun. Like a sleepover."

"But your stuff is still back in the hotel room. You're paying for that room, aren't you?"

"I don't care about that. She's right, it's late, I'd rather stay here than drive for the next two hours. My apartment is only forty-five minutes from here, but, I mean, we're here already, so…"

Benji opened his mouth to speak, but Emily beat him to it.

"It's settled, then. You'll stay. I've got some spare toothbrushes and toiletries. I'll make sure the bathroom in the hall is well stocked for you. If you need anything I haven't got, Will, you remember where the drug store is, don't you?"

"I remember, Ma."

She gave them a little wave and then left, closing the door behind her and looking all too pleased with the situation.

"You were right, her timing is uncanny," Benji said.

"Like she's got some kinda radar."

"What'd she mean by that, anything we need that she hasn't got?"

"You know, guy stuff. Razors that aren't pink, shaving cream that doesn't smell like fruit."

"Oh. Right."

"Why, what did you think she meant?"

"Nothing."

"What, lube?" Will asked with a smirk. "Benji, that's my mother."

"Well, she is awfully eager for this thing with you and me to work out, isn't she? And she's all open-minded and everything. She knows her son has sex. Didn't she nearly walk in on you when you were sixteen? Seems like she took that in stride."

"I thought we weren't going to have sex this weekend," Will said teasingly.

"I… I didn't say we were, but she might think we are, so… Don't look at me like that, you're the one who's so keen on two grown men sleeping in a bed barely big enough for one. Might be difficult to _avoid_ sex in a bed that small."

Will's eyes darkened a bit. "Should I run to the store and pick something up?" he murmured.

Benji gulped. That tone in Will's voice was all too familiar now, Benji having replayed The Shower Incident in his mind over and over. "I am not having sex with you in your childhood bedroom," he said. "Might've done, a few minutes ago, but that moment passed when your mum popped in. No, it's just too surreal."

"You know, my childhood bed isn't quite so innocent. I wasn't exactly a child the last time I lived here. I was lying in bed every night, thinking about cute, awkward boys like you. Let's just say that if any of those old wives' tales were true, I'd have gone blind long ago."

Benji smiled at that.

"Also, yeah, there was the one actual 'attempt' at sex, as my mother put it. That happened on this bed. Or almost happened." Will shook his head and grimaced. "I couldn't quite get things to, um, happen. In the end, it was mostly just a lot of rubbing. I think I chafed her a bit."

"All right, so the bed's not exactly virginal. I'm still not shagging you in it."

"I'm okay with that. Not to get too girly on you here, but just holding you all night is incredibly appealing." Will glanced at the tiny bed. "Actually, I'm going to _have_ to hold you all night. By the way, if you ever make me think about lube and my mother at the same time again, I'm breaking up with you."

They stayed up a while longer, chatting with Emily down in the kitchen and eating left over teacake with ice cream. Benji was treated to an old photo album which contained tons of pictures of little Will with his wide eyes and a rather interesting bowl haircut. Back then, he'd been as blond as Benji was now. And naturally he'd been an adorable little boy.

And he'd been a beautiful teenager. Eventually. There'd been a terribly awkward mullet phase, but once that had passed, his mid-teens saw him blossom. He went from cute to handsome, grew broader in all the right spots, in ways that Benji had only ever dreamed of developing as a teen. And always those eyes, piercing and bright and a little melancholy. There were pictures of him with his track and field team, somehow looking dashing in teeny tiny shorts, with the wind in his hair, the most stunning creature on the team. There were pictures of him at piano recitals looking awkward in his shirt and tie (which made Will fidget and grumble and quickly turn the album's pages). And there were tons of pictures of him with friends and girlfriends, and all his girlfriends had been gorgeous. One in particular caught Benji's eye, a tall, willowy, elf-like thing with blond hair and blue eyes.

When they came to a photo of twelve-year-old Will, scrawny as hell with shaggy hair and wearing nothing but a pair of tighty whities, Will decided it was time to end the walk down memory lane. Benji got the impression that his haste was not due to his twelve-year-old self's state of undress so much as to his twelve-year-old self's position, seated before a keyboard of the musical variety.

Emily hugged and kissed Will goodnight and then did the same to Benji as though he was part of her family. She seemed almost relieved that Benji was there, which only served to make Benji uneasy, and yet a part of him liked it. He'd only been here a few hours and already he felt at home. The place was warm and inviting in a way he could only remember his own rather austere childhood home being on special occasions. The love in the house was evident, from the many family photos to the notches scratched into the wall by the back door that marked Will's growth. Benji didn't deserve to be let in on that love. He'd only just got here. And yet he didn't feel that it was being held back from him in the slightest.

He didn't quite know how to deal with it, so he didn't. He said a hasty goodnight to Emily and then hurried after Will.

He returned to Will's bedroom after washing up for bed. Will had stripped down to his boxers and was sitting cross-legged on the already unmade bed, looking at an old yearbook.

Benji shut the door and began unfastening his jeans. "Do you mind if I ask a personal question?"

"You can ask me anything."

"There's been no mention of your dad. I was just wondering…"

Will nodded. He closed the yearbook and set it down on the floor, then got under the covers and patted the small space next to him. Benji finished undressing, down to his underwear too, and joined Will. The bed creaked something terrible and it made Benji tense; Emily could probably hear every sound the bed made.

The warm touch of Will's bare skin on his beneath the covers was nearly intoxicating. Benji hesitated a moment, not wanting to encourage any advances, but then he remembered they'd agreed there'd be no sex, so he cuddled into Will's embrace.

"Dad left when I was twelve," Will said. "He's always been in my life, though. Saw him often enough after the split. There aren't any pictures of him in the photo albums because Ma removed them all, probably has them stashed someplace."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Benji said quietly.

"It's okay. I'm not angry anymore. I was for a while. At that age, I wasn't aware of any trouble in their marriage. I never saw or heard them fight. Maybe that was part of the problem; they never really talked."

Benji thought of his own parents, how the very same lack of communication was probably the one thing holding them together.

"All I knew was one day he told me he was leaving," Will went on, "sat me down, explained that he'd be living somewhere else from then on. He didn't really tell me why. He just said that he and Ma had decided it was best." He looked down into Benji's concerned eyes and gave him a gentle smile. "I'm okay, really. I'm a big boy now."

Benji tried to smile back, but only managed the barest hint of a smile. "And she never remarried?"

"Nah. She dated a bit but never found anyone good. They were all either boring as hell, not her type, jerks or con men. I'm good at sensing deception, always have been. Ma just had a certain knack for picking losers. I guess I get my instincts from Dad's side of the family.

"Anyway, she started relying on me, on my ability to sniff out bad guys. Sometimes she took me at my word, got rid of the guy just because I said she should. I have to admit I might've taken advantage of that trust once or twice. I wasn't interested in finding another dad.

"I knew she was lonely, though. I'd hoped I could be enough, that her friends and family could be enough, but she always craved true companionship. I started to realize how selfish I was being, started second guessing my instincts. Maybe I was letting my own selfish needs cloud my judgment, maybe one or two of the guys I'd legitimately dismissed had been all right after all. I started to not trust myself. Every time I saw that loneliness in her eyes, I'd wonder how many mistakes I'd made.

"I ignored my instincts once. For her. Because she adored the guy. Because I couldn't trust my own motives anymore. I ignored my gut, which had never been wrong before as far as I knew. Just one time, just one guy. And he beat the shit out of her. Put her in the hospital. Fractured skull. Three cracked ribs and a busted ankle."

Benji raised his head in alarm. "Will –"

Will shook his head. "She recovered. Physically, anyway. And she didn't even blame me. She's lying there in the hospital and she reaches for my hand to comfort _me_ , and she tells me it wasn't my fault, that everybody falters sometimes, that I was just a boy, that she put too much pressure on me." He had to pause, swallow hard and blink the emotion out of his eyes. When he continued, he had a hardened look, a certain edge in his voice. "Never questioned myself again after that. Until Croatia."

And Benji knew how that had turned out.

"And Ma… well, she didn't date much after that. Got her first cat shortly thereafter."

Will blamed himself. It was obvious. For his mother's abusive boyfriend, for Ethan's wife's death. Benji put his head back down, felt Will squeeze him and he squeezed back.

"You were just a boy," Benji said.

"I know."

"You can't save everyone, Will."

"I know."

"But?"

"But what?"

"I sensed a but."

"Oh. Yeah," was all Will said in response.

"But knowing something logically, and feeling it are two different things," Benji offered.

"Yeah… She wants me to have what she never did. That's where she's coming from. That's why she's so happy we're dating, because she sees how much I like you. And knowing my instincts, she knows you're a good guy. But I don't want you to feel any pressure here. If this doesn't work out between you and me, she'll still adore you, because that's who she is. I'll still adore you too. I hope we're always friends, Benji."

"Me too." It was all Benji could think of to say at the moment. It felt completely inadequate, so he cuddled against Will, hoping his touch could convey the depth of his sympathy. Will cuddled him back, but he didn't go on to say anything else, so Benji felt obligated to fill the silence. "That's some heavy stuff you just told me," he said.

"No secrets."

"Why are you so keen on this no-secrets thing?"

"My life is nothing _but_ secrets. Not being able to tell my family and friends what I really do, randomly running into guys whose lives I was supposed to protect without their knowledge. It never stops. If I was with someone who wasn't IMF, a civilian, that would just be one more person I'd have to constantly lie to. I have the privilege, and it _is_ a privilege, of being attracted to someone in my line of work, someone who seems to want me too. I'm not taking that for granted. I'm sick of secrets, Benji. I want to tell you everything."

"Like what?"

"Just everything… Wanna come down to the basement with me?"

"What?"

"There's something I need to show you."

Benji raised his head again and looked at Will. "Wait. Is this the part where you prove to me that I was killer all along even though I don't remember?"

"Even better."

They put their t-shirts back on and padded through the dark, quiet house. They were almost instantly joined by Edgar who seemed to instinctively know that he was to be quiet and didn't meow once. Benji followed Will down to the cold basement which was covered in brown, shag carpet. A golden, velour couch lived down here, along with a lot of fake wood grain on the furniture and walls. There was also a record player and shelves of old records.

And a keyboard.

"That looks awfully familiar," Benji said.

"Yeah, I kinda lied to you before," Will admitted as he approached the keyboard. "Felt bad about it, so I had to come clean." He looked around at Benji, his gaze serious. "I _wanted_ to come clean." He turned away, went and grabbed the velour ottoman and pulled it over. "Sit," he instructed as he took his own seat on the small, black bench before the keyboard. Benji's seat positioned him lower than Will, but he could still see Will's hands. He watched those hands wipe dust off the keys and then just touch them, almost as if Will was about to start pounding out a tune, but his fingertips merely grazed the keys, like they were saying hello. He leaned over to push the keyboard's plug into a nearby socket, turned on the instrument and pressed a key. He winced at the sound that came out. "Harpsichord," he muttered. He push a button and tried again, this time getting the piano sound. The note filled the basement with a single, long, low sound. He adjusted the volume, then played a chord.

And then he started playing something Benji had never heard, something slow and pretty. Will was good. Very good. He didn't stumble once and his hands looked as comfortable pressing those keys as they did holding a gun.

And then came the voice. He began low and soft, the lyrics weaving a rather melancholy tale, and then he went up an octave to a more natural place for his voice, and this was where he shone, where his gorgeous, raspy tones really came out. And when the chorus neared its conclusion and his volume lowered again, it was as if there was a hint of honey in his voice, sweet and golden. Benji closed his mouth, not having realized that it had been sitting open for the last minute or so.

Will played the final chord, let it linger and peter out. Then he dropped his hands from the keyboard and looked down at Benji. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm so critical about my own playing, it just felt natural to avoid it. But like I said, you're the last person I want to have to hide from."

Benji shook his head, still in shock. "It's fine. I'm not angry. What was that, anyway?"

"Just something I wrote a couple years ago."

Benji's mouth dropped open again. "You _wrote_ that?"

Will smiled shyly. "Yeah." At that, he stood, held a hand out to Benji and pulled him up too.

Benji stared at him in awe. "Is there anything you can't do?" Will merely blushed. "Seriously, though, you're making the rest of us humans look bad."

"I doubt that very much, but thanks."

"Thank you for sharing this with me."

"You're more than welcome."

Will unplugged the keyboard and Benji discovered that they'd acquired an audience. Not only was Edgar down here, but Simon and even Nicholas had joined them. All three cats were lounging in various spots on the carpet, watching the couple.

When they went back upstairs, Edgar followed them into Will's room, so they decided to leave the door open just a crack in case he needed to get out later. They spooned in Will's bed, Will wrapped securely around Benji from behind, and Edgar curled up at their feet. There was barely enough room, but Edgar was fairly small. Benji made sure to be careful not to kick him.

* * *

Benji awoke to sunlight pouring through the small window, to the smells of coffee and bacon, and the feeling of soft kisses being pressed to the back of his neck. He also found it difficult to move his feet, as though someone had placed something on top of them. He raised his head to look. Edgar had decided that Benji's feet were the perfect cat bed.

"Get outta here, Edgar," Will said groggily and nudged Edgar with his foot. With an indignant, grumbly purr, Edgar stood, jumped down to the floor and trotted away, slipping out into the hall.

"Ma's got breakfast going," Will said. "I think that's her subtle way of telling us to get up already. D'you sleep okay?"

"Yeah, great." Benji shifted onto his back and Will cuddled into his arms, his face going to Benji's neck.

"Morning, Benji Dunn," Will whispered. His low, raspy, morning voice saying Benji's name, the heat of his body, not to mention his morning hard-on pressed to Benji's thigh, all made for the best wake-up call Benji had ever received.

"Morning, William Brandt," Benji whispered back. He'd closed his eyes again and honestly could have gone right back to sleep in Will's arms, but then Will's hand caressed its way down Benji's belly, down between his legs to cup _his_ morning hard-on over his soft, cotton briefs. Will pressed his palm against it, rubbed up and down along it.

"This is what my last few years in this bed should've been like," Will said.

"You think your mother would have allowed that?"

"Ma was embarrassingly open-minded about sex, in case you hadn't picked up on that. She would have been thrilled to have me come out and just be myself and fall in love with some beautiful boy. She probably would have provided the condoms."

"I can't even fathom that. Your mother would probably make my mother burst into flames. And gawky, teenage me in bed with the boy I saw in the pictures I saw last night? Unless sex was your way of repaying nerds for helping with your homework, I'm not sure I can fathom that, either."

"I can. I wish we'd known each other then. I wanna see what teenage Benji looks like."

"I'll show you when we get back to my place. If you're good. No laughing, though."

"Never. I'm sure you were beautiful."

"BOYS!" came Emily's shrill call from downstairs. "UP WITH YOU, TIME TO EAT!"

Will groaned. "Impeccable timing."

Benji headed into the bathroom first, where he found, folded neatly on top of the toilet lid, two robes that hadn't been there last night; one pink terrycloth and one satin robe covered in big, red flowers. Benji grinned, knowing exactly which one he was going to inflict on Will.

He gargled the mouthwash he found under the sink, splashed water on his face, dried off and then pulled on his robe of choice, folding it shut and belting it over his nearly naked body. He then went back into the bedroom, where Will burst into hysterical fits of laughter upon seeing him.

Will sat up and attempted to compose himself with little success. He had to bring his fist up to cover his mouth and try to stifle his giggles. "I'm sorry, really. Did she leave that in there for you? It's very flattering."

"She did. Kind of her. Not sure pink's my color, though."

Will cleared his throat, clasped his hands in his lap and said, "You look lovely," in the most serious voice he could muster, which quivered with restrained laughter.

"Thank you. I'm sure you'll look lovely too."

"I… what?"

Will did actually look pretty good in that floral satin number. He didn't make a big deal of it, wore it with a certain don't-give-a-fuck confidence that was extremely sexy. Also, his taut, round ass moving beneath the delicate fabric as he and Benji descended the stairs was rather mesmerizing and confirmed that Benji had made the right choice when selecting his robe. Terrycloth simply wouldn't have done Will's ass justice.

"I'm sorry, they're the least feminine robes I own," Emily said as soon as they arrived. She was setting plates down on each of the three settings on the kitchen table.

"It's fine, Ma," Will assured her. "Thank you. And good morning." He kissed her cheek, then proceeded to help set the table.

"Good morning, William. And good morning, Benji dear. Did you sleep all right in that tiny bed?"

"Yeah, actually, thanks," Benji said. "Anything I can do to help?"

Will and Emily both said no in unison.

"You sit," Will added. "You're a guest."

Will seemed to be in his element. Not so much in the kitchen; he was actually rather clumsy. He spilled boiling water as he poured it into Benji's mug and he burned himself on the hot pan of scrambled eggs. Odd that he could disarm a man twice within seconds, but an electric kettle turned all his fingers into thumbs. But he seemed happy and relaxed here, helping his mother and serving his boyfriend. Benji would not have guessed this about Will, that he'd be so happy being so domestic. The robe just made it all the more surreal. It fluttered about his thick calves as he moved. His chest hair peeked out from between the delicate folds.

"Would you mind terribly if I ran up and grabbed my phone?" Benji asked him. "I think I need to record this moment. For posterity, you know."

"I will have you drawn and quartered," Will said pleasantly as he leaned down and kissed Benji's mouth.

After breakfast, they headed back upstairs where they showered separately and got ready to leave. When Benji returned to the bedroom, clean and fully dressed, Will was sitting on the bed, pulling on his socks.

"Ready to go?" Will asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

Will stood, put his hands in his pockets and gazed at Benji. "So. You've met my mother."

"You have no idea how surreal the last seventeen hours have been for me."

"Not unpleasant, I hope."

"No, quite nice, actually. Slightly awkward, but 'slightly awkward' is pretty much my default, anyway."

"Not too bad, then?"

"No. Why, were you that worried?"

"Well, actually, I was thinking… we don't have to leave right now. Still early. Maybe we could go for a walk or something."

"A walk where?"

"Just around. Show you the old neighborhood."

Will looked terribly sheepish, like he thought Benji might scoff, but now that Benji thought about it, he wasn't quite ready to leave, either. He sort of liked it here. Benji smiled at Will and said, "Okay."

Will lit up. "Really? You don't mind being in a town where you can't get sushi at three a.m. and there isn't a coffee shop every fifty feet?"

"No, I'd love to see more of the sort of place that makes guys like you. There must be a factory somewhere around here with giant man-shaped molds, popping out secret ninja soldier robots."

"Oh, you think I'm a robot?"

"I dunno. Your hand-to-hand combat skills are more impressive than that of any human I've ever seen. Kind of machine-like. And your memory –"

"Benji," Will laughed.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about it. Probably best. There's probably some sort of fail-safe built in that makes your brain self-destruct upon learning what you truly are."

"Bet you'd like that," Will said as he began leading Benji out of the room. "A robot boyfriend."

"Can't say it hasn't crossed my mind."

They strolled through the neighborhood and Will pointed out all the significant spots; the house where his best friend used to live, whose dad built a tree house in the backyard that had pretty much been a deathtrap. "Got my first broken bone and tetanus shot because of that thing," he said wistfully.

There was a path he and his friends had ridden along on their bikes to visit the local supermarket and buy junk food with their allowance. There was the dead-end street where he and his friends used to play street hockey. Then they left the houses behind and found a trail that wound through a park that seemed to go on forever.

"Had my first kiss over there," Will said, pointing to a shady spot beneath a big tree, next to the river to which the path now ran parallel. "Her name was Katie Baxter. Dark hair, green eyes, freckles, played flute in the school band, had a hamster named Peppy and could recite all fifty states backwards and forwards. Sweet girl. Tried to touch my penis once."

"I… was not expecting that," Benji said.

"Yeah, neither was I."

Will led Benji to a spot by the river where they went barefoot, rolled up their jeans, sat on the rocks and let their feet dangle in the rushing water.

"Used to come fishing here with my uncle Jerry," Will said. "This exact spot."

"It's nice."

"Yeah, it is. I always thought that if I ever met the perfect guy, I'd bring him here."

The two of them looked at each other until Benji finally looked away with a shy smile. "Subtle," he said.

"Subtlety's for the weak. I always thought about spending a perfect day with someone amazing, bringing him here, talking by the river."

"When it finally happens, you let me know how it goes."

"Subtle," Will retorted. He shimmied closer until their legs touched. He reached for Benji's hand, then paused, his hand hovering over Benji's. "Is it safe?"

Benji grinned. "Yeah, course it is."

"Okay, then." Will took his hand and held it on his own knee. "I never know with you. You're so skittish sometimes."

Benji didn't deny that. Simply holding hands made him acutely aware of the other people in the park. He had the constant urge to keep glancing back as people went by, joggers and hikers and strolling families, along the path on the opposite side of the stretch of grass just behind them.

"And to think we came _this_ close to missing each other completely," Will said, using his thumb and forefinger to show how close "this" was. The weight of his own words actually gave him pause and he sat there, staring at his lap and shaking his head. "Life's funny, isn't it? The way things work out sometimes."

"Uh-oh, you've gone all introspective on me."

"Yeah," Will sighed. "Just thinking about all the different ways things could have unfolded, all the different paths we each could've taken, and I don't see how any paths but the ones we ultimately took could have led here, to this."

"You think there's a universe out there in which we never met."

"I know there is. If other universes exist, then I know there are several, tons, innumerable universes in which we never meet. We wouldn't be here if not for that Kremlin debacle. I mean, even if we'd met anyway, we wouldn't be dating if I was still an analyst, we probably wouldn't even be friends. And that'd be a damn shame." He looked at Benji. "Doesn't that bother you, the thought of all those Wills and all those Benjis out there who don't know each other?"

"I think you might be taking string theory a little personally. We're here. This is what happened, this is our reality. And I'm not convinced that all paths wouldn't eventually lead here, anyway. Honestly, I don't know what to believe, but I rather like the idea of fate. Free will is a bit daunting when you think about it."

"Interesting. I wouldn't have pegged you for a fate kinda guy. You strike me as the type who'd feel trapped by such a concept."

"Yeah, I know. But too many choices can be just as, if not more terrifying. I think that's why I was a tech for so long. I couldn't move, I was held down by the weight of choice. And general fear, of course. I would've thought _you'd_ be a fate man all the way. You seem such a diehard romantic, fate's right up your alley."

Will shook his head. "I like having the option to fail or to switch paths. Otherwise what's the point? I like knowing that when I work for something, the work matters. My rewards aren't just handed to me because that was what was supposed to happen."

"Is that what I am? A reward?"

Will shrugged and gave Benji a cool smile. "Maybe."

Benji tried to will his face and neck not to blush. "Careful, I might actually be the consolation prize."

"The point is, I went after you because I could. Maybe it was supposed to happen, but it wasn't the _only_ path. That just diminishes the importance of the act in my mind."

"Fair enough. I dunno, though, I like to believe there's a sort of quantum attraction at work in the universe. Who you are, your interests, your circles of friends, the things you do day to day, the places your life takes you, it all works to bring certain people into your life. Mutual interests, mutual friends, jobs, hobbies. I was a tech, you were a field agent-turned-analyst, we work for the same company, we both know Ethan, to certain degrees. With all those things in common, I can't imagine that our paths wouldn't have crossed eventually."

Will shook his head again. "Maybe, but Benji, Croatia scared the shit out of me. I started thinking about my gut instincts and how complicated they can be. Suddenly, detailed, careful planning seemed easier. Or if not easier, then certainly safer. But it was gut instinct that got me in that shower with you that night. If I still was now who I'd become after Croatia, I would've analyzed myself right out of that decision. It never would have happened, and I never would have told you how I felt."

"You really don't think we'd have gotten together some other way? Like in a less, erm, blunt way perhaps."

Will looked at him. "Would you have asked me out?"

Benji considered. He honestly couldn't imagine a situation, that didn't involve a clear, obvious signal (like a naked man joining him in the shower, for example), in which he would have felt confident enough to ask Will out. But when he replied, he said, "I've no idea. Maybe. But I can't imagine that someone who looks like you would be afraid to ask me out."

"It's more than just fear of rejection. It's fear of fucking everything up. It's fear of making the wrong decision, zigging when I should have zagged. I told myself, as a boy after what happened to my mother, never to ignore my instincts again. I forgot about that boy after Croatia. After that, instinct seemed like Russian roulette to me. I couldn't play with people's lives like that. So I hid. For years. Hid behind a desk, behind caution, behind fear, behind charts and graphs and diagrams and research and incessant note-taking and enough details to give any normal person an aneurism. Even now I still feel it, that tentativeness. There are things I wanna say to you, things I wanna do with you that I keep talking myself out of."

"Such as?"

Will got that intense, far-off look in his eyes as he gazed across the river. "Like take you into those trees over there and suck you off."

Benji let out a long, slow breath, his eyebrows reaching for his hairline. Hearing Will talk like that made his face and neck burn. "You probably should talk yourself out of that, to be honest. There are children in this park." He glanced around. They were alone for the time being. "Someplace. They're around, I know I saw one before."

"I gotta tell you, Benji, the man I was before Croatia wouldn't hesitate to do some pretty nasty things with you out here right now."

"R-really?" Benji asked, his voice cracking a bit.

"Yeah. That's the guy that joined you in the shower that night. That guy was just waiting for the go-ahead, for a signal from you, and when he got it, there was no stopping him."

"Wait, I gave you a signal? When? What signal?"

Will frowned at him, apparently thinking it should have been obvious. "You showed me your body."

"I… what? Oh, when I undressed with the bathroom door open. That wasn't a signal, I was just tired, annoyed, needed my wet, muddy clothes off me already. Besides, we'd seen each other at least half-naked before."

"That's different. All those other times it was out of necessity, because we had to make quick changes and there wasn't any place to hide and no time to stare, anyway. This time, you just stood there. For a few seconds, anyway. You stood there and let me look."

Benji had been so exhausted and dejected and frankly angry with the world that night that he hadn't stopped to consider how stripping down in front of Will, when he didn't have to, might look to Will. "And then I slammed the door in your face," he said.

"Yeah. Suffice it to say, my dick was rather confused."

Benji smiled. "Hey, that's my line."

"You were beautiful, you know. There was something so raw about you in that moment. Even the mud on your skin was sexy."

Benji didn't know how to take compliments like that, so he looked away, out across the river to the trees on the other side. They were on an upward slope, like stadium seats, while behind Benji and Will, on the opposite side of the path, was a rock face that went up just as high. The rest of the world was blocked out completely at this perfect spot of Will's. Benji began to have crazy thoughts about the world ending out there and neither of them realizing it, and what if the phone reception here sucked so bad that they missed Ethan's call to action, and maybe that was exactly what Will wanted, to isolate Benji and keep Benji to himself forever.

If Benji was ever going to develop claustrophobia, it would be now.

Will's words also made him consider who he was now compared to who he'd been. He and Will wouldn't be here together if Benji was still just a tech. Benji would have been soft and doughy and weak and frightened (well, _more_ frightened), hiding behind his desk, behind his keyboard, and someone like Will wouldn't have given him the time of day, gut instinct or no.

"I think we both owe Ethan a debt of gratitude," Benji said. "If you and the Secretary hadn't gone to fetch him, and if he hadn't dragged you kicking and screaming back into the field, and if he hadn't lit a fire under my arse and got me to go for the field exam, neither of us would be here now."

"Ethan got you to try for the field exam?"

"Well, not on purpose."

Benji told Will about the fateful night years ago. Not that Will didn't already know about Davian.

"You were the tech Ethan called that night," Will said.

"Yup, he called me. _Me_. Of all people. I couldn't believe it. Asked me to track down the last number called by Musgrave's phone. I was convinced I was gonna get chucked out of the country for helping him, but turns out it was the right thing to do. Helping him usually is, though I'm never convinced of that in the heat of the moment."

"And after that, you decided to become a field agent?"

"Yeah. I went back to work after that night, tried to carry on as usual, but I couldn't stand it anymore. I'd had a taste of something bigger and it was eating away at me, wouldn't leave me alone. I guess I'd been feeling it for a while before the phone call, to be honest, but the call really clinched it. Had to get out of the lab. I was losing my mind."

"So, your little crush on Ethan was what inspired you."

"I never had a crush on him."

"I saw the way you used to look at him. Still do on occasion."

"Like what, like he's a mad man?"

"Well, yeah, there's always a lot of that, but no, I mean you're so in awe of him and sometimes it's written all over your face."

"I do not have a crush on him."

"Not even a little?"

"Well… okay, I might've wanted to nibble on his biceps a bit at one point, but that ended months ago. It's all just hero worship now, nothing sexual."

Will was quiet for a moment, then he said, "He knows, Benji. You know that, right?"

Benji met Will's eyes. "About… what, you and me?"

Will nodded somberly.

Yes, Benji was aware that Ethan and Jane must already know. The morning after Will and Benji's adventures in the shower, Ethan had actually called them before he and Jane had come down to the place they'd rented to stay close to their asset. Ethan had never done that before, he normally just showed up at some ungodly hour with coffee and donuts, ready to discuss their next move. But on that day Ethan had called first, and there was only one explanation; he and Jane had come down and let themselves in as usual and had found Benji and Will asleep together in bed, naked and probably snuggled up in each other's arms. After which they'd sneaked out again and called ahead.

"Well, you don't care about that, right?" asked Benji. "You said so yourself, the night we shagged."

Will exhaled heavily and looked out across the river. "I don't know anymore. Like I said, the Will you saw that night was a different guy. To put it bluntly, he didn't give a shit. Consequences were the last thing on his mind."

"That really doesn't sound like you."

"No kidding. Benji, I know it's early, but I think it's best we come clean to Ethan and Jane about what's going on. They know we slept together once, and if that was all it was, I'd say leave it alone. But it's more than that, what's happening between us. I think they should know."

Benji looked at him in alarm. "What for?"

"Transparency. Full disclosure. This team shouldn't have secrets, not ones that could potentially affect job performance."

"How on earth would this affect job performance?"

"Favoritism."

Benji snorted and laughed. "You think either of us is going to show favoritism to one another on the job? What does that even mean? What, if I've got the choice to help save either you or Jane, I'll pick you every time regardless of individual odds of survival?"

"Something like that." Will looked somberly at him. "You had to make that call before. Remember? You left her alone with a wound to the stomach to come get me. It turned out to be the right call," he quickly added, seeing the color drain from Benji's face. "Your instincts were dead-on that night, but what happens when love and sex start clouding things for us?"

Benji looked away, down at the water, at the tiny fish flitting around his calves. "I knew she'd be all right," he said quietly.

"I know –"

"Yeah, it was a serious wound, but I knew we had time. I wouldn't have left if I'd thought –"

"Benji, stop. You did the right thing. I didn't bring that up to make you question yourself, I brought it up as an example of a situation where everything that was done right that night could have been done completely wrong if feelings had been involved. There's no room for feelings in this line of work. We need brains, we need guts. But heart? That could kill us."

Benji gently took his hand away from Will. He shifted over a bit, an inch or two away, planted his palms in the grass on either side of himself and leaned slightly forward. He just needed a moment to try to absorb what felt like a sucker punch to the gut. "So, you want to tell them we're dating because…?"

"Because if the tables were turned, I'd wanna know. I'd wanna know if the people whose hands I was putting my life in were emotionally biased in any way. Benji, look at me."

Benji didn't look at him. "Why now? Why so soon?"

"Why _not_ so soon?"

"We've only just started with each other, we don't have to tell them straight away. It's all moving a bit fast, isn't it?"

"It's been months. We've only just started, I know, but… the way I feel about you isn't exactly new."

Benji couldn't argue with that. He even felt it a little himself, that bias towards Will. And Will expressing his feelings this way wasn't helping. "It's all a bit much, you know? This is all so bloody perfect. Like scarily, eerily perfect, all of it."

"That frightens you."

"Well, since we're being honest about our feelings, yes, it absolutely terrifies me."

"May I ask why?"

Benji sighed. "Will, as much as you insist there's no pressure on me, I have to say I feel a bit like I'm trying to outrun a steamroller. You seem to want this so badly and you're singing to me and playing piano for me and showing me your dorky side and bringing me to your special river place and insisting we tell people about us dating, and your mother, I think she's already booked a hall in Iowa or New York or wherever it is we're allowed to get married these days and I swear those trees ahead of us are closer than they were before and I just don't want to hurt you."

Will took a moment to absorb all of that. "Okay," he said cautiously. "The trees aren't closing in on you, Benji, just breathe."

Benji breathed deeply.

"Why do you think you'll hurt me?"

"Since we got here, I've seen a different side of you. It's like stepping into your old house sent you back through time and lifted the weight off you. Your mother thinks it's me. That's what she said to me when we were alone, that I lift the heaviness from your eyes and I'm afraid she might be at least partially right, that it's having someone quote/unquote 'special' that's making you so happy. And it's contagious. I feel like a bloody lovesick teenager myself, and it's wonderful, but it's not real."

"Benji –"

"I get it, okay? You want to give this to your mother because she wants so badly for her little boy to find love. I saw it, Will, how happy you were at breakfast, like we were already a family. I saw how happy you were last night even, when she was telling embarrassing stories and showing awkward pictures of you. It didn't bother you as much as you let on, you loved it. And I just feel I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you that it won't be like this out in the real world. We're gonna drive back into the city and I'm gonna be a nervous, fidgety pain in your arse and you're gonna be all moody and brooding and we might not be the perfect match out there that we are here."

"This is you _not_ being a pain in my ass?"

"This is me making an effort not to be. I don't always succeed, clearly."

"So, is all that reason not to try?"

"No, but it _is_ reason not to get your hopes up straight away."

"I should pull back a bit is what you're saying."

"Yeah. Or… I dunno. Maybe. I didn't know what to make of it when you hit on me that night. I still don't know what to make of any of this. I thought we were just hanging out this weekend, I didn't realize it was gonna be a whole big romantic extravaganza."

"You think this is an extravaganza?"

Benji looked at him. "It's not?"

"I hadn't even broken out the flowers and chocolates yet. Don't think we've quite reached extravaganza."

"Palooza, then?"

Will put on his analyst face as though actually comparing the size difference between two things in his head. "Mmmno. Paloozas and extravaganzas are shockingly similar."

"Fiesta? Jamboree? Shindig?"

Will thought for a moment. "Let's go with o-rama. That sounds about right."

"Romance-O-Rama." Benji nodded his approval. "Sounds a bit like a relationship clearance sale, but I appreciate the alliteration."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

They exchanged a glance and then both started quietly laughing, the tension between them dispersing a bit.

"This is nice," Benji said, "that we can still do this with each other, but I sort of miss the days when we could joke like this and it didn't have to mean that we were falling in love."

Something in Will's expression softened. He had the very best eyes for conveying dreamy lovesickness. He leaned in, cupped Benji's face and kissed him, soft and slow with just a hint of tongue. That tongue may as well have been lapping at Benji's cock, because the kiss went straight down to his groin.

The kiss broke and Will murmured, "Since when has our banter _not_ been foreplay, Benji?"

Benji gulped and hoped his voice didn't crack or quiver when he spoke. "Point taken," he said breathlessly. "Please don't give me a stiffy out in public."

Will smiled and dropped his hands from Benji's face. "I'll try."

"Why were you stricken with the sudden and desperate need to kiss me just then?"

"Because you said you were falling in love with me. At least, I think you did."

Benji opened his mouth, shut it again. He went over his own words in his head, then finally said, "I suppose I did."

"Likewise, by the way."

"Oh, good, we're on the same page. Otherwise, that could have been slightly embarrassing. You know, if this was a movie, we'd both have already known we were falling in love. Because of the montage."

"The montage."

"The falling-in-love montage. You know, there'd be some happy, romantic song playing and we'd be, like, strolling along a beach or something."

"And having a picnic in a park," Will offered, catching on.

"And riding on a roller coaster."

"Or a ferris wheel."

Benji's eyes lit up. "Ferris wheel's a classic. And then we'd be strolling through the amusement park with cotton candy."

"And I'd win you a gigantic teddy bear that you wouldn't know what the hell to do with."

"And then we'd be swimming in a public pool after hours in our underpants with nothing but moonlight illuminating the room."

"How are the doors to those pools never locked in the middle of the night?"

"I have no idea, but lucky thing they're not, otherwise what would all those people who are falling in love do with their montages?"

"They wouldn't be able to finish them."

"Tragic, that."

"Just left standing at the edge of an amusement park with nowhere to go."

They looked at each other again. Will smiled and the sun was in his eyes and the color of his irises was like the greenish-blue of the river and Benji was reminded of their shower together, of water droplets with little bits of light inside them resting on Will's pretty lashes as though light was just drawn to his eyes, had to find a way to them even in the badly-lit bathroom of that shitty flat.

It was Benji who reached for Will this time, reached for his hand, leaned in and kissed his mouth again.

"You have to stop being so perfect," Benji said softly when the kiss ended.

"Not sure I can do that, sorry. You gonna be okay with this? Falling in love with me and all?"

"Dunno yet… What would our song be?"

Will grinned. "Our montage song? I dunno, uhh… you like REO Speedwagon?"

Benji leaned away and frowned. "I said 'happy', not 'sappy'."

"Okay, sorry. What about Chicago?" Will suggested with a smirk.

"Will."

"Bee Gees?"

"I'm leaving."

With a laugh, Will pulled Benji back when Benji tried to get up. "What about E.L.O.?"

"I'm listening," Benji said cautiously.

" _Mr. Blue Sky_?"

Benji smiled and looked away.

"What? No good?"

"No, it's fucking perfect." Benji looked at him again. "And I know the other suggestions weren't serious. You're fucking perfect."

Will smiled. "My apologies."

Benji sighed. "Only one thing left to do, then." He pulled out his phone and sent Ethan a simple message:

>   
> 
> 
> _"Hello. Will and me are dating. Hope that won't be a problem."_  
> 

He then put his phone away. "There. It's done."

"You sound so grave."

"I feel like, as soon as I get comfortable with all this, something awful's going to happen."

"Jesus, what did your parents do to you?"

"I don't think we have time to get into that. Weekend's nearly over."

"We can talk about anything, Benji. Anything you ever want."

"You find a way to get a couch out here that I can lie on and I'll tell you all about my parents."

"I'll see what I can do. For now, though… mind if I kiss you again?"

That was cute, that he was asking first like a nervous kid. Benji nodded and let Will kiss him. He heard hikers approaching along the path, and he was tempted to pull away from Will, or even just glance quickly to see if they were being watched, but he couldn't bring himself to ruin the moment. He ignored the sounds of people passing by and kept right on kissing, even bringing a hand up to grip the back of Will's neck. Fuck the passersby; Benji was Will's perfect guy and this was their spot.

Benji's phone beeped and Will smiled against Benji's mouth before pulling away. "That'll be Ethan."

Benji held up his phone so that Will could see Ethan's reply:

>   
> 
> 
> _"You don't say."_  
> 

"Yeah, he knew," Benji said.

"Told you," Will said.

"Hope he wasn't too traumatized."

Ethan replied again:

>   
>  _"Was wondering when you'd come clean. You can thank Jane for the courtesy call. I wanted us to park in your living room and wait for you two to find us."_   
> 

"I take it back," Benji said. "I hope he was scarred for life. I hope the sheets were all askew and he saw all sorts of _things_ that he'll never be able to scrub from his mind."

Ethan replied once more:

>   
>  _"We're happy for you. As long as it doesn't interfere with your jobs, there's no problem."_   
> 

Will looked at Benji. "Still wish him mental trauma?"

Benji rolled his eyes. "Okay, maybe not scarred for life. Maybe just for the next few months or something. Mildly disturbed. Nettled, really."

Will took Benji's phone and replied to Ethan with a simple "thanks", and just as he gave it back, his own phone beeped.

"It's from Ma," he said. He read aloud: "'Might not be here when you get back. Gone shopping for dinner things. Chicken salad sandwiches in fridge for you boys for lunch. Love, Ma.' And there's a smiley face." He shook his head and muttered, "She's obsessed with these damn smiley faces."

"Your mum's amazing, you know. Maybe we should just move in."

"I'd rather jump off a ledge and let you catch me with magnets again."

"Okay, maybe _I_ should just move in."

Will smiled at him. "We don't have to leave today, you know. Sounds like she's working up to guilting us into staying for dinner, anyway."

"You wanna stay another night?"

Will shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "Yeah, maybe. If you want to. I could swing by the store myself, pick us up a few things. Razors." He rubbed at the day's worth of beard he had on his face. Benji thought it made him look even more ruggedly handsome, if that was even possible. Benji had sported a goatee years ago, but the beginnings of his beard were never nearly as impressive as Will's.

"Clean underwear," Will went on. "Something to wear while our clothes get washed."

"Our clothes are getting washed?"

"If we stick around another night, Ma _will_ wash our clothes."

"You sure you don't want to move back in with her?"

Will grinned. "Is that a yes, you'll stay?"

Benji considered. It was awfully peaceful here, which was unnerving but it was growing on him. And it felt safe. He felt like he could hold Will's hand and maybe not get scowled at by strangers. Even his nervous energy seemed to have calmed a bit. And, well, if Emily was already planning supper…

They returned to the house an hour and a half after leaving it. Simon was lounging on the porch, just left of the steps, tail swishing over the porch's edge. He didn't move this time when they approached, he merely eyed them in that wary way of his. Emily was still out shopping. The sandwiches were wrapped and waiting in the fridge along with a large pitcher of iced tea with lemon slices in it.

"Go on and eat without me," Will said, closing the fridge door. "I'm gonna swing by the store now, pick up a few things. Any requests?"

"I'll wait for you to get back," Benji said. "And, uh, one request, actually." He cleared his throat and stepped toward Will. He was going for seductive, but he was pretty sure he'd shot right by it and gone straight for awkward. "You might want to, um, pick up some lube. You know, if you wanted to, you could. Just saying. No pressure."

Will gave him a lazy smile. "Why, Benji Dunn, are you trying to seduce me with your awkwardness?"

"Yeah, well, you know, thought I should help you properly christen that old bed of yours. 'Bout time, really. The thing's, what, twenty years old now?"

Will took his hand. "Just about."

"Well, if you're comfortable, er, christening it, with your mum down the hall and most likely a cat at the foot of the bed –"

"I'd like nothing more. I mean, the christening part with you, not the cat part. And we can wait 'til Ma's asleep. Wow, feels like I'm gonna lose my virginity all over again, except this time it won't involve an abundance of pot and the backseat of an '87 Buick."

It sort of felt that way to Benji too, like a second deflowering, and he couldn't work out why. Was it Will's childhood home? Was it doing it in such a small bed? Was it that Will was finally fulfilling his teenage fantasies of being with his perfect guy? They hadn't known, back when they'd first had sex in the shower, that Benji was that guy. Well, Benji hadn't known it. Perhaps Will had.

"Anything else?" Will murmured. "I can get you anything you want."

"Whatever you're getting will be fine, I'm sure."

They kissed goodbye and Will left. Nicholas, who'd probably heard them come in, finally decided to come out from his hiding place and investigate. He strolled into the kitchen and peered sleepily around, then looked up at Benji questioningly.

"Hello, Nicholas," Benji said, bending to pet him. Nicholas's eyes went squinty as he leaned into Benji's touch.

Benji poured himself a small glass of iced tea and headed out to the front porch. Nicholas followed him and settled next to him on the porch swing, up against Benji's thigh, in a big, warm, rumbling heap. Simon had apparently gone off somewhere to do cat things, or was perhaps avoiding Benji again.

"You tell your friend Edgar that he can't come into the room tonight," Benji said to Nicholas, who yawned. Benji sighed and looked out over the quiet neighborhood. "I could live out here, I suppose. It's nice. Quiet. Good place to decompress… nope, I'd likely lose my bloody mind within weeks. It's _too_ quiet. How do you stand it?" He looked down at the cat. "No, I was not imagining what it would be like to move in with Will and live out here together. It's too soon. Yes, I know we've known each other for months, but this whole relationship thing is completely new to me. Although, now you mention it, it might be good for me. The city's so crowded. I do love it, though, you know, there are so many different types of people and you can get Thai food, Italian, Greek or a curry all on the same street. There are no hotdog venders here. And hey, where _are_ your homeless people? No, seriously, where do you keep them?

"Well, at any rate… what was my point? Right, moving in with Will. It could be sweet, I suppose, us getting a quaint little house together. And everyone in the neighborhood would know that we're _that_ couple. Bet some of them would enjoy that, diversifying the neighborhood a bit. Although, I think as far as same-sex couples go, Will and I would be a horrible disappointment. I mean, look at me. I'm possibly the worst gay man on the planet. I can barely dress myself without ending up looking like a college student, I can't decorate, I hate show tunes. And Will… Will might like show tunes, actually. Heard him humming that song from _Oklahoma_ that one time on a stakeout. We never did talk about that, don't tell him I told you. My point is, we're not flamboyant in the slightest. We're not campy, we don't lisp. We're no fun. All the things that make gay men fabulous, we aren't very good at… well, except that one thing." Benji grinned to himself as his mind went straight into the gutter. "Did I mention that Edgar's not allowed in the room tonight? Yeah, that room's gonna be a-rockin'. Or just vibrating slightly, wouldn't want Emily to hear, not that I think she'd mind. Yeah, I suppose it's about time I put out again. Will's waited long enough. Besides, I'm horny as hell."

Nicholas glanced up at Benji with narrowed eyes.

"Don't judge me. Why don't you spend all your time with something that looks like _that_ , who quotes _X-Men_ at you, and see how easy it is to keep your pants on."

Twenty minutes later, a car Benji didn't recognize pulled up to the house. There was a dark-haired woman inside. She peered at Benji through her windshield, recognizing him about as much as he did her. She shut off her car and got out. She wore white Capri pants and flip-flops, and a blue t-shirt that hugged her narrow frame. Her straight, brown hair was kept neatly back by a white Alice band, and as she drew nearer, Benji could see that she had freckles and big, green eyes.

She smiled uncertainly as she stepped forward. She had three rectangular, plastic containers meant for leftovers tucked under her arm. "Hi. Is Emily home?"

"She's grocery shopping. Should be back soon, though."

"Oh. I just came to return these."

"You can leave them inside if you like."

"Yeah, I think I will. Um… hi, I'm Kate." She cradled the containers in one arm and held out her right hand as she stepped up onto the porch.

Benji leaned forward and shook her hand. "Benji. Erm, forgive me if I'm way off here, but you wouldn't happen to be Katie Baxter, would you?"

She grinned and showed him her ring finger which was sporting a rather large, square-cut diamond. "Baxter-Pratt, actually."

"Ah, congrats."

So, this was _the_ Katie Baxter. She had to be in her late thirties now, but she looked more like a twenty-something. There was a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed innocence about her. Benji couldn't imagine this woman making a grab for Will's penis _now_ , let alone as a young girl.

She looked confused as she asked, "Emily's told you about me?"

"No, her son Will has. I'm a friend of his."

Her eyes widened even more, making her look like even more of Disney princess. "Will's here?"

"Yeah. He's gone shopping too, but he should be back soon."

"Oh, my gosh, I haven't seen him in ages. How's he been?"

After putting the containers inside, Benji got Kate a glass of iced tea and they sat on the porch swing with Nicholas between them.

"How long have you known him?" she asked.

"Nearly a year now."

"And he told you about me? That's so odd."

"Well, we went for a walk down by the river and we walked by the place where he had his first kiss. That's how you came up."

She blushed. "Oh, gosh, I can't believe he remembered that."

"You never forget your first. Also, he sort of remembers everything. He told me you had a hamster named Peppy, played the flute and had a thing for reciting the states backwards and forwards."

She grinned to herself. "He always had a head for details. The crush I had on that guy." She shook her head as she stared off at nothing. "He was the most beautiful boy in our elementary school, and later on in high school too."

"His mum told me he had a string of girlfriends."

"Oh, yeah. Never without a girlfriend. And he was the sweetest, most polite thing. I thought he resisted making a move on me because he was so young. We were only twelve. But rumor had it he was the same with all of them, every girl he ever dated, well into his teens. Some of them got awfully frustrated with him, but some loved that about him, that there was no pressure."

Benji thought about young Will, the boy he'd seen in pictures, the stories of this sweet, non-threatening kid, and tried to reconcile that boy with the man who'd come to him in the shower and fucked him up against the wall.

"The girl he dated longest was Josie Quinn, when he was seventeen," Kate said. "They lasted more than a year. She was gorgeous. She had long blond hair, really light, golden blond." She looked at Benji. "Like yours, in fact. Just exactly that shade."

"Huh. Weird," Benji said.

"And pretty blue eyes… kind of like yours. In fact, she was British. Moved here when she was thirteen, I think."

Now Benji perked up. She was obviously talking about the elf-like girl he'd seen in a picture last night. He'd had no idea the girl was British. "She did?"

"Yeah. And she was a member of the audio/visual club."

A tech nerd. "Are you joking?"

"No. Why, does that mean something to you?"

"No. No, just… did they… I mean, not that you would know what they did and didn't do together, but why did they last so long compared to the others? And why'd they break up?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Did he not mention her to you?"

"Not really. Saw a picture, though, I think. It's nothing, I'm just thinking out loud."

She nodded and sipped her iced tea. "What brings him back down here, anyway?"

"Hm? Oh, er, we were hanging out yesterday when his mum called, said she needed help with her computer, so we came down yesterday afternoon."

"Oh, did you stay the night?"

"Yep."

"Where did you sleep?" She seemed genuinely concerned. "Don't tell me one of you slept in his tiny bed."

"Yeah, Will did. He wanted to. Nostalgia and all that."

"What about you?"

"Guest room," Benji said automatically.

She paused for a beat, canted her head and said, "But there's no bed in the guest room. It's Emily's sewing room."

Benji froze. He had yet to poke his head into the smallest bedroom in the house. He'd had no idea what was inside it. "Uhhhhh…" was the most eloquent thing he could come up with in that moment, but he was rescued by the arrival of another car, and this one he recognized. Will pulled up to the house, parked in the drive and frowned at them as he shut off the motor, trying to figure out who Kate was. Kate smiled and waved as she and Benji stood.

Will got out of his car with a large, brown paper bag cradled in the crook of his arm and his phone in his opposite hand and he bumped the car door shut with his hip. A smile spread across his face as he approached.

"You've gotta be kidding," he said with a laugh. "Katie?"

"Will!" She went to him and hugged him. "It's so good to see you."

"You too. What are you doing here?"

"Came to drop off something I borrowed from your mother."

They disengaged and looked each other up and down.

"You look the same," Will said. "How is it you look the same?"

"Oh, stop it. Not so bad yourself. I was just talking to your friend."

"Yeah, Benji Dunn, Katie Baxter," said Will, pointing to each of them in turn.

"Baxter-Pratt, actually," Benji corrected him.

Will's mouth dropped open and he looked at Kate in disbelief. "No way."

"Way," she said with a giggle, excitedly showing him her ring.

" _Frankie_?"

"Yes, Frankie. What's wrong with Frankie?"

"Well, he was kind of a menace, Katie." Will looked at Benji. "He was one of my closest friends until he turned on me for no reason."

"That may have been my fault," Kate said sheepishly. "He started noticing me in ninth grade. I think that was when he started getting on your case."

"Why, because you and I dated for a few weeks in sixth grade? Are you joking?"

She shrugged apologetically. "He found out I still carried a torch for you."

"He stuffed me into my locker!"

"Oh, he was just playing."

"Do you know how many swirlies that guy gave me?"

"He's totally gotten his act together and now he's perfect. I fixed him," she said brightly.

"Ah, all you girls want is a guy you can fix."

"That's why you and me never worked out. Nothing about you needed fixing."

Will shuffled his feet and went all bashful. Then he glanced at Benji, exchanging a private look with him as if to say, _Yeah,_ that's _why we never could have worked out._

"You don't have anywhere to be, do you?" Will asked her. "My mother should be back soon. We can catch up while you wait."

Kate agreed to stay a while longer. The three of them went inside, Benji and Will to put Will's shopping away, and Kate to use the restroom.

"That's pretty wild, huh?" Will said in the kitchen where he began pulling items from the shopping bag on the table. "Her just showing up like that after we were talking about her."

"Yeah," Benji said distractedly. He refilled Kate's iced tea, then shut the fridge and turned to Will. "What'd you get?"

Will pulled out a package of generic, cotton boxer briefs. There were three pairs in the bag, one white, one black and one heather gray. "These'll fit you, right?"

Benji put the glass down and approached to have a closer look. "Yeah, they should fit. Those gray ones look an awful lot like the ones I was wearing the night we… well… Is that a coincidence?"

"Nope. Benji, the image of you in that wet underwear has been burned into my brain. Also, um…" Will pulled a little black bag from within the large paper bag and took out a small bottle of clear liquid to show Benji. Benji felt his face begin to blush, but nodded his approval. Will put the bottle back in its bag, glanced around to check that they were still alone, then leaned in and kissed Benji's cheek.

Benji gave him a soft smile and a slightly reproachful look. "She'll be out any minute."

"We'll hear her coming."

Benji shrugged and glanced down.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering… am I Josie Quinn?"

Will blinked at him. "What?"

"Kate told me about her, she was your longest relationship in high school. You lasted more than a year, Will. That's pretty significant not to mention it at all. And I wouldn't even care if she didn't look exactly like me and wasn't British to boot."

Will took a step back, frowning. _"What?"_ he repeated.

"You know, maybe you're not actually gay, maybe you just have a _really_ specific type."

Will's confused frown turned into a smile and he chuckled. "No. Benji, no, you are not Josie Quinn. Well, yeah, you're similar in some ways, but not really." He lowered his voice. "Josie was a lesbian."

"She was gay too? And we're not similar _how_ exactly?"

Will laughed again. "Yeah, I know, it's a little eerie, but to be perfectly honest, I hadn't even noticed the similarities until just now. She was so different from you, personality wise. She and I hit it off because we had similar interests and we both needed beards. We were both hiding who we were. And we were able to keep up the act for so long because we became best friends."

"So, you weren't in love with her?"

"No. I loved her, but not like that. I mean… okay, I might see a bit of her in you, but it's _you_ I want, not a memory. This isn't nostalgia with you and me. This is right here, right now."

Benji relaxed a bit. He shouldn't have been tense at all, there was nothing to be upset about. "I wasn't angry, I was just curious. It seemed suspicious to me that you'd dated her so long but neither you, nor Emily, had mentioned her."

"Ma didn't mention her because Ma knew. Once I came out to her I explained my relationship with Josie. I wanted her to know because that friendship was so important to me. Josie doesn't count as a romantic relationship because I wasn't pretending with her. So, I didn't mention it."

Benji nodded. "What sorts of things did you do together? I mean, why did you hit it off so well?"

"Oh, I don't know. We saw movies. Lots of horror movies. We played video games, we read comic books. We hung out down by the river. We laid around in the grass and made up funny stories about weirdly-shaped clouds. We'd go out to eat at the local burger joint. I don't know, Benji, we did friend things together. We were just normal kids hanging out." Will smiled to himself, remembering something. "You know this one time we managed to sneak into our high school after hours –"

"If there's a pool involved in this story, I'm leaving."

"No, no, not a pool. Movie projectors. She was a member of –"

"The audio/visual club, yeah, I know."

"Yeah, and we set up the screen and everything and started watching this awful educational movie from the sixties about the dangers of drugs, and we turned off the sound and went back and forth inserting our own dialogue and…"

Will trailed off and stopped grinning when he saw Benji's face. He'd basically just given a summary of his and Benji's perfect falling-in-love montage. Benji knew it. And apparently Will knew it too.

Will cleared his throat. "Uh, okay," he said quietly. "Maybe I do have a type."

Benji just smiled and shook his head.

"Hey. You are not Josie Quinn."

Benji nodded and let Will pull him closer. "I know. I'm sorry, I don't even know why it bothered me. I guess I was worried you were trying to recapture something long gone, but you're right, this is different. You have a type." He shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that."

"So, we're good?"

Benji nodded. "We're good."

"Can't wait to be with you tonight," Will whispered as he brought their lips together. The words alone ignited a need in Benji, and after making sure he could hear no toilets flushing or footsteps approaching, he deepened the kiss. It was after Will wrapped his arms around him that they both heard the little cough.

Their lips parted, eyes flew open, but otherwise neither moved.

"I hope that was you," Benji whispered.

"Throwing my cough would be a great party trick, but unfortunately it's one I've yet to master," Will whispered back.

They both looked slowly toward the kitchen doorway where a timid Kate was standing half in and half out of view with her hands covering her face. She parted her fingers to peek guiltily at them.

"I am _so_ sorry," she said, her voice muffled by her palms. "I am so, so sorry, but… this kinda does explain some things."

* * *

Kate was fascinated. The rest of her time alone with Benji and Will was spent asking them questions about everything from how they'd met to what their sex life was like. She and Benji reclaimed their seats on the porch swing, and Benji shared his chicken salad sandwich with her. Nicholas hadn't moved since they'd gotten up earlier and he watched longingly as bite after bite went into their mouths. Will sat on the porch itself with his own sandwich, his back against the yellow wooden railing that enclosed most of the porch.

"So, you met at work, that's so romantic," Kate said.

"It's really not," Benji said.

"Who asked who out?"

"Will did."

"He did?" she asked in astonishment. "I never would have guessed! He used to be such a shy thing."

She was clearly completely unfamiliar with shower-sex Will.

"How did it happen?" she asked. "Was he shy when he asked? Where were you? Were you in the office? Does your work frown upon that sort of thing? Dating coworkers, I mean. I bet they do."

"Erm…" Benji stammered. He looked to Will who was watching them with a soft smile, clearly amused by Benji's awkward attempts to answer Kate's questions. Benji came up with a half-truth to tell her: "We were on a business trip. Some boring conference. We had to share a hotel room. That's when it happened."

Kate sighed. "That is so romantic."

"It's _really_ not," Benji repeated.

"I bet you guys were up late, talking, maybe raiding the mini bar, a little drunk maybe, and Will got all soppy and romantic and just had to tell you how he felt." She actually squealed a little.

Benji looked to Will again, who'd stopped watching them altogether, had turned his face away in an attempt to hide his smile. Benji narrowed his eyes at him. The man was having far too much fun watching Benji squirm.

Benji cleared his throat, and as confidently and casually as possible, he said, "Actually, that was when he fucked me in the shower. It was _after_ that, that he asked me."

Both Kate and Will looked at Benji in shock as Benji calmly took a bite of his sandwich half. He raised his eyebrows at them as he chewed and said, "What?"

Will started laughing, that lazy, raspy laugh of his. He covered his face with a hand as Kate's mouth dropped open.

"William!" she gasped.

"Well," Will snickered, "you know how it is. Sometimes you just gotta…" He gestured vaguely at Benji, as though that was some kind of explanation.

"You think _you're_ shocked," Benji said to Kate. "You should've seen my face that night."

Kate got more comfortable in her seat and said in a hushed voice, "So, you guys have had… anal sex. Right?"

This was as blunt a question as Kate had asked yet. Benji was beginning to see how this might be the same person who'd copped a feel with Will all those years ago. He looked to Will again, whose face was now bright red, but he seemed to have gotten his giggles under control. Will nodded and said, "Yup."

"My husband has been wanting to try that –" Kate began.

"Oh, good god," Will groaned, all his mirth dissolving into a grimace.

"Is that common? Men wanting to try that?"

"Straight men?" Benji asked. "No idea. Maybe. Hey, we should ask Ethan," he suggested to Will, who looked at him in abject horror. "What? He's straight. Isn't he?"

"No, Benji," Will said. "I mean, maybe, I don't know, but _no_ , we are not asking him that." Then he fixed Kate with his intense gaze and said in a low voice, "I do not need to know this kinda thing about Frankie Pratt."

"But we're all adults here," Kate insisted, a hint of pleading in her voice. "I just need to know a few things. Like… how? How does it work? How does it not hurt?"

"Oh, my god," Will mumbled, covering his face again.

It was the first time Benji had seen Will truly horrified, and after spending at least half the visit so far with a sheepish blush on his own face, Benji wasn't about to let this opportunity go to waste. He turned to Kate and said, "I guess I'll take this one. First, do your research. Lots of research. Google is your friend. And have him join you. He's the one who wants to do it to you, he should be reading up on it too. Also, don't let him pressure you. Ever. This is a big deal and he could hurt you if he's not careful. Lube is also your friend. Your very best friend. Lots of it. And, erm, he's gonna have to get his face in there. You know."

Kate's eyes widened. "Oh."

"It really is the best thing for getting things started. He's gotta really get in there, eat it like it's dinner. It's not up to you to magically relax just because he tells you to and fingers you for a few seconds."

"Benji, Jesus…" Will muttered into his hand.

"It's a process," Benji continued, "and it'll take a while. If he isn't patient, or if he's squeamish at all, tell him to bugger off."

Kate seemed to be taking mental notes. "Eat it like it's dinner," she murmured to herself as though she was actually writing down the words on a pad in her mind. "Got it. What about making sure that, um… things are all clear back there beforehand?"

"You've gotta be kidding me," Will said.

Benji went casually through a few tips for Kate, finishing off with a reminder about doing her own research. He then looked to Will and asked, "That about covers it, yeah?"

Will, who seemed to have gone catatonic, stared straight ahead at the space between Benji and Kate, blinked a few times and quietly replied, "Yeah, that… that sounds about right."

"What if Frankie doesn't want to do research with me?" she asked. "He's not the biggest reader in the world."

Benji frowned. "What did I tell you?"

She thought a moment, then replied uncertainly, "Tell him to bugger off?"

Benji smiled. "'Atta girl."

Emily soon returned with a car full of groceries and looked like she'd gotten the very best present in the world when she saw Kate and then learned that Benji and Will were staying another night. She got started on the hours' long process of preparing supper and they all chatted in the kitchen while sipping beer and wine. Kate called home to say she'd be late and ask if Frankie wanted to join them, which made Will's face go all serious and tense again.

"It's Will, honey," she said into her phone. "Will from school, remember? Yes, Billy Brandt… don't call him that," she added in a mumble, turning her back to her hosts to continue her conversation in a tense half-whisper.

They ate outside again, where they stayed lounging and talking around the table well after the meal was finished and the sun began to set. Emily broke out the photo albums again and Benji was able to get another look at Josie Quinn. There really were only minimal similarities between them besides the obvious. She had a narrow face and her nose was small, curved like a ski slope, whereas his face was rounder, his nose straighter, more triangular. Her eyes were more greenish-blue than the steel-blue of his own, and her ears were slightly pointed, whereas his were small and round. Maybe Benji wasn't Josie Quinn 2.0. Still, in Benji's mind Will's Josie Quinn years would forever be known as "the beta testing phase".

"I like your little town," Benji whispered. He and Will were huddled together as best they could with their chairs' armrests in the way, while Emily and Kate chatted incessantly on the opposite side of the table. "Don't get me wrong, if I lived out here I'd likely want to hang myself at some point, but it's a nice place to visit. And I like seeing all the interesting bits that make up Will Brandt. And not one secret-ninja-making factory in sight."

"Told you I was a real boy."

"Mm, we'll see about that when you get caught in the rain and can't reach your oil can. Thank you for bringing me here."

"Thank you for coming."

"I wish I could do the same for you, show you my childhood."

"We could go to England one day. Why not?"

"Yeah, but my parents… they're not like your mum."

"Your childhood is more than your mom and dad."

Benji nodded, conceding the point. "I've got a really amazing aunt and some nice cousins. They'd be happy to meet you."

"I'd like to meet them too."

Benji's tummy flooded with nerves. It felt too soon to be talking about taking Will all the way to England to meet the family. That in itself was terrifying, but what was even more terrifying was the fact that, in a way, it didn't feel too soon at all.

"You okay?" Will whispered.

Benji hesitated, his mouth hanging open as he tried to figure out what to say. "I don't know," he finally replied.

"What's the matter?"

"Ever get the feeling that you're in a movie and you're the only actor and everyone else thinks it's real and you're the only who hasn't quite got method acting down yet?"

"…Say what?"

"I just feel like the movie's coming to an end and my character development hasn't progressed as far as it should have by now."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Benji shook his head. "Nothing."

He didn't want to feel disconnected, but he did. So he did the only thing that made sense; he kissed Will. He touched Will's arms and his chest as he sought out Will's mouth, tried to really feel him. He was searching for something in Will's touch, perhaps trying to soak up some of the apparent certainty that Will seemed to feel about this whole thing.

It was when the women noticed that the men had pretty much checked out of the conversation that Kate decided it was time to end the evening.

"So good to see you again," she said to Will at the front door.

"I promise not to stay away so long again," Will assured her.

They hugged and then she turned to Benji, took his hands and whispered, "You're the most perfect couple I've ever seen."

Benji blinked at her. "Really?"

"Yes. You're perfect for him. Will and I were good friends all through elementary and high school and I kept telling him there was someone out there for him. He never did believe me."

"Stubborn sod."

"Right?" At that she hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Come back soon. We should all do something together, double date maybe."

"I am not double dating with Pratt," Will said.

"I think you two have more in common than you think," Kate said to Will as she released Benji.

"You come into my mother's house and insult her child like that?"

"Think about it, Will. It's probably why you hate each other so much."

Emily hurried out of the kitchen with two large plastic containers full of leftovers for Kate. After saying goodbye to Emily, Kate was gone.

"What've you boys got planned for the evening?" Emily asked as they all wandered back to the kitchen to clean up.

"Probably just gonna head upstairs and relax," Will said.

Emily smiled knowingly at them as she wiped down the counter top. "You want to be alone."

"No, we can stay and talk."

Emily began shooing them out of the kitchen. "I'm not blind, I saw the way you two were at dinner. Couldn't keep your hands off each other. There's only so much of one's parents one can take. Go on, I'll see you in the morning."

They bid her goodnight and headed upstairs, Will walking just slightly behind Benji with a hand on the small of Benji's back.

"She knows we're going to have sex," Benji said.

"I got news for you, Benji, she thinks we already had sex last night."

"…Oh."

"Speaking of, you realize I can never have sex with you again without thinking about my childhood girlfriend having anal with my childhood nemesis," Will said as they entered his room.

"You know what that makes you, don't you?"

Will shut the door behind them. "What?"

"Severus Snape."

"Sorry?"

" _Harry Potter_. The love of Snape's life was in love with his nemesis. It's an imperfect analogy; Kate isn't quite the love of your life, but you still care for her. It sort of fits."

"I see. What character does that make you?"

"Dunno. Snape's story is slightly tragic, he didn't exactly end up with anyone. Shit, I hope that by making the comparison, I haven't just doomed you to die tragically while trying to save the world." Benji grimaced. "Could very well happen in our line of work, couldn't it?"

"You wouldn't be Harry?"

"If Snape was fucking Harry, then yes. Which he wasn't. Unless you ask the internet." Benji stopped and examined Will for a moment. "You haven't read the books at all, have you?"

Will stepped close and took Benji in his arms. "Nah. Tried to watch the first movie and wanted to kill myself."

"Well, that's settled then. I'm breaking up with you."

"Oh, I see."

"Unless you read the books."

"I'll have to get myself some copies then."

"You'd do that?"

"What?"

"There are seven books and a few of them are well over five hundred pages."

Will looked impressed for a moment and then nodded. "Okay. Yeah, I can do that."

"You'd read over three thousand pages of children's literature just to keep dating me?"

"I'd read a million pages of children's literature to keep dating you. But a million and one's where I draw the line, so don't push it."

"Ebooks or physical copies?"

"What?"

"How do you prefer to read?"

"Oh, uh, physical copies, I guess. Why?"

"I'm going to order them for you."

"Oh, Benji, don't do that, I can get them myself."

"I want to… Physical copies? Really?"

"That a problem?"

"No, no. Just, you know, bit cumbersome. But it's okay… Why exactly haven't you read the books yet?"

Will laughed. "Shut up, Benji," he said before shutting Benji up himself with a kiss.

Benji pulled away and said, "Hang on, before you get your engines started there, I'd like to shower first before we… you know. It's been a long day."

Will nodded. "I'll go first so I'll have time to set up the room while you're in there afterward."

"Set up the room?"

"Yeah. I'm about to symbolically lose my virginity here, we've gotta make a night of it."

Will grabbed some things from his shopping bag, then went off to wash up, leaving Benji with the remaining things inside the bag; the lubricant, the underwear, an open package of razors, a plain, white t-shirt and a pair of blue plaid pajama pants that made him smile.

"Well, you like plaid," was what Will said when he returned, showered, shaved, damp-haired and in his own far less loud pajama pants and white tee.

Once Benji was finished, he dressed in the clean clothes and left the clothes he'd arrived in, in the bathroom with Will's. He could hear Emily puttering around downstairs. Apparently she was going to come up and steal their clothes in the night like some kind of laundry fairy. As uneasy as Benji was about letting Will's mother wash his underpants, he folded his clothes neatly and left them sitting on top of Will's on the counter top.

When he approached Will's room, there was a soft glow seeping from underneath the door. He began to open it, but then Edgar appeared out of nowhere, came zipping down the hall and tried to run into the room. Benji was quick to pull the door shut before Edgar could get in.

Benji looked down at him. "Sorry, mate, humans only tonight," he said.

Simon appeared next from Emily's sewing room, meowing rather authoritatively, and if Benji didn't know better he would swear that Simon sounded almost impatient. He trotted toward the stairs, stopped there and glanced back at Edgar as though expecting him to follow. Benji watched in amazement as Edgar went after Simon with a plaintive little mew. The two cats went downstairs together.

Will opened the bedroom door. "What're you waiting for?"

"Waiting for our furry friend to wander off. He's gone now." Benji looked at him. "Even the cats know we're gonna shag tonight."

"Get in here, will you?"

Will's preparations had involved lighting candles and bringing wine upstairs. He escorted Benji into the room, now illuminated by lamplight and little votive candles scattered around on the shelves, the dresser and the window sill. He shut the door, then hurried over to the nightstand where two coffee mugs sat next to the wine bottle. He brought them over.

"Ma doesn't like using the wine glasses unless there's company," he explained, handing Benji a mug. "I mean, you're kind of company, but really at this point I think she considers you almost family, which I know probably makes your palms sweat, but yeah, sorry about the mugs."

"It's fine," Benji assured him, and he meant it. If Emily Brandt considered him a comfortable enough part of her home to expect him to keep his mitts off the good glassware, that was okay. Benji felt a lump rising in his throat for the second time that weekend.

"And the candles smell like a dewy meadow or a rain forest or some damn thing," Will went on. "Couldn't find any unscented ones that weren't designated specifically for emergencies."

"It's fine, Will, really. It's more than fine, it's almost too much. You don't half-arse anything, do you?"

"Nope."

"You do realize that I'm that wanton thing that let you fuck him in the shower, right? I'm not some delicate flower that needs to be pampered and wooed."

"Bullshit," Will said. He raised his mug. "To you, Benji Dunn. To this entire weekend with you."

Benji smiled shyly, unsure what to say, so he said nothing, which seemed to be okay with Will. They clinked their mugs together and each took a sip just before Benji's phone began vibrating across the nightstand. It stopped after a second; a text message. Will automatically moved to answer it, but then realized it wasn't his. He stopped to look at Benji.

This felt strangely like some kind of crossroads in their courtship. A test. Benji felt he'd been faced with so many already. Will seemed to plow right through them like they were nothing, like he was certain. Benji had a split-second to make a decision, so he made one.

"You can get that if you like," he said.

"Yeah? You sure?"

Benji had nothing to hide from Will, and besides, this felt like something a couple would do. "I'm sure," he replied.

Will went and grabbed Benji's phone. He smiled at the screen as he brought it over to show Benji. It was a message from Jane, and her message was rather short:

> :D

"I guess Ethan's told her we finally came clean," Benji said.

"I guess so."

The phone and both mugs went back to the nightstand and Will came back to his place in Benji's arms.

"Hey," Will said.

"Hi," Benji replied. "I can hear your mum moving about downstairs. I thought we were gonna wait 'til she went to sleep."

"I don't wanna wait. I want you, Benji."

Benji could feel that in Will, that need. It wasn't his cock, although yes, there was that very obvious sign of desire, but it was more than that. It was an energy, a hum in Will's body, an urgency. Or perhaps that was Benji's own nerves he was feeling. It was becoming harder to tell where he ended and Will began, but Benji wasn't sure if that was them melding into a couple or Will's confidence overpowering Benji's detached blankness.

"We can wait if you'd prefer," Will added.

Such a perfect gentleman. The different sides of Will made up an interesting picture. There was cautious, mindful Will, who questioned everything; the analyst. There was primal Will, who acted on instinct, who listened to his gut; the field agent. There was sweet, gentlemanly Will, who helped his mother with breakfast and cuddled with cats and was willing take whatever Benji was comfortable giving. Then there was alpha Will, who came right in and took what he wanted, who'd pinned Benji to the wet tile wall with those big hands and bulging biceps.

And there was lovesick Will, who admired Benji quietly, who gazed at him. It was a combination of this Will and the gentleman who was standing there with Benji now, and it was these sides of Will specifically that Benji had the hardest time facing because they made Benji feel incredibly awkward. Will was thinking that Benji was the loveliest thing on the planet, and admiration like that felt strange to Benji. It didn't fit him. In fact, Benji wasn't the type that drove a man to come get him in the shower without warning. He wasn't the type that looked "perfect" with someone like Will. But that was how Will saw him.

And truth be told, every time Will looked at him that way, it changed Benji a little, just a tiny bit each time, it moved Benji closer and closer to the belief that being looked at like that fit him just fine.

But he wasn't there yet.

"You can say it, you know," Will suddenly said. "If you really want to, if you really feel it. It's not too soon."

Benji was about to ask what he meant, but Will's last few words tipped him off. He stared at Will, mildly shocked.

"I know this is technically our first date, but we've known each other for months. It's not too soon for me."

"Why… why would you say that?" Benji blurted out. He was staring wide-eyed at Will, because he knew that Will knew that he, Benji, had felt like he should say it, the words, the three big ones, right then, in that moment.

"Because I love you," Will replied simply. Benji felt all the color drain from his face. "Maybe we're still in the process of falling in love, maybe we're not all the way there yet, but dammit, Benji, it sure as hell feels like I'm there."

Benji dropped his eyes from Will's face. "My god, Will," he whispered.

"You don't have to say it back if it's not right for you yet. But it was right for me, and I'm glad you know it now."

Benji said nothing.

"What are you thinking? Tell me."

"I feel a bit woozy."

"Too much wine?"

"No. It's not the wine."

"Too much me?"

"Yeah, it's that powerful sex musk of yours. It's overwhelmed me."

Will smiled at that, but then said, "Seriously. You okay?"

Benji hazarded a look into Will's eyes, which were practically shining with love. And as Will touched Benji's cheek and simply stood there admiring him, Benji didn't feel one ounce of expectation from him. Will really didn't need Benji to say it back now. Surely he wanted it, but he didn't expect it. He expected Benji to say it in his own time, and he seemed confident that Benji eventually would.

"I love you too," Benji said. It did feel like it was time to say it, and even though Will didn't need it, the silence surrounding them had pushed the words from Benji's mouth. Benji wasn't entirely sure what 'love' meant in this instance. He liked Will. He was attracted to Will. He cared for Will. He felt close to Will. He wanted to be near Will. When Will smiled at him, it made Benji's tummy flutter. When Will admired him, it changed Benji for the better. But was that love? Even now, in his late thirties, Benji still wasn't sure. Was it this romantic evening they were spending together, with the candles and the wine and the planned, symbolic virginity-taking? Was that love? Benji felt disconnected from the whole set-up.

Will didn't make a fuss about Benji's "I love you", for which Benji was grateful. Will merely gave him a soft, thankful smile. The emotion in his eyes was enough. Those eyes said everything and then some.

Will nodded and murmured, "Okay."

Benji gulped. He shouldn't have said it. He was in too deep. He panicked. He began babbling. "Of course, you realize I could get kicked out of the awkward nerd club for falling for a cool stud like you."

Will rolled his eyes. "Benji."

"I'm serious. If I'm spotted with something that looks like you, they'll find me, cut my membership card in half. Pretty sure I'll have to give back that free toaster oven I got for signing up."

Will sighed and pulled away. He wasn't joking; there was a little line between his brows that hadn't been there before. He was annoyed.

"What?" Benji asked, genuinely surprised.

"I feel like I'm doing battle with your sarcasm. Every time we get even a little close, I can literally feel you pulling away. Not physically, but with your words. You're awkward. I get it. I think it's cute, actually, but you don't have to be this… this _character_ all the time."

"Will –"

"Yeah, I know, it's your defense mechanism. I'm not trying to render you completely defenseless, I'm just trying to find my way in."

Will lowered his gaze from Benji's face, then glanced off toward the window. Benji watched him, the cold shock of the turn the evening had just taken rendering him silent. Everything felt strange now, but not unfamiliar.

"Deja vu," Benji said quietly.

"What?"

"This isn't the first time I've been here. First time with you, but not the first time."

"I'm not surprised."

Benji looked at him sadly. The frustration on Will's face poked at the achy knot of guilt in Benji's chest; there was real hurt behind that frustration. "Will, I'm sorry. I don't mean to push you away, it's a reflex. I don't normally do intimacy. Intimacy just isn't a Dunn thing. It isn't a British thing, really."

"Do you feel anything for me?" Will asked quietly.

The question hurt and Benji knew that hurt was showing on his face. " _Yes_ , of course I do," he replied a bit aggressively.

"Hard to tell, is all."

Benji glared. "Don't do that. Don't question my feelings just because I'm not all sappy like you."

Will's expression softened. "I'm sorry. But seriously, Benji, sometimes I really do wonder. You spend so much time hiding yourself."

"You have no idea. You've seen more of me than anyone. I just don't know that I can let myself go all the way there with you. I want to, but it's such a vulnerable place. It's terrifying for someone like me, letting my guard down and letting someone in."

"It's different for you now, isn't it?" Will asked knowingly. "Now versus the shower incident, I mean."

"Of course it's different. That was before you showed me all this, before you showed me your music and your action figures and your special river place and your mum. That night, you were just this primal, animal thing, but now I know there's a heart behind all that lust. Tonight is something completely different. You said so yourself, it feels like losing your virginity all over again. It feels that way to me too, and now I know why. It was just sex before, just bodies. Now it's so much more than that and it scares the shit out of me because I don't know if I've caught up to you yet and I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you."

Will's eyes turned sad as he canted his head and said, "It was never just my body, Benji."

Benji's shoulders slumped. "That _really_ doesn't help me right now."

"Was it really just sex to you that night?"

Benji just stared guiltily at him.

"I don't blame you if it was," Will added. "I never should have expected anything different. You didn't know what I was thinking."

Benji sighed and shook his head. "Will… you called me 'baby'."

"When?"

"That night. And it hurt like hell, so no, it probably wasn't just sex to me, not as much as I would've liked at any rate. Look at me, Will, look at my face and know that what I'm saying to you now is something I would never in a million years admit to anyone else: I liked it, Will. When you called me that. And it's stupid and it's sappy and just plain gag-worthy, but there it is. I thought you were just getting off. I thought you were just trying to make me feel better, so when you called me that and it felt so good and right and genuine to me and then I remembered that it probably didn't mean anything to you –"

"Shut up, Benji," Will said, closing the gap between them, pulling Benji into his arms and hugging him. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, just… it's not stupid. And it was _never_ just my body." He pulled back and cupped Benji's face. "Do you hear me?"

Benji heard him, but he still felt stupid. He avoided Will's eyes, afraid to look at him now that he, Benji, had bared so much of himself.

"Remember the night the world almost ended?" Will asked. "That was when I knew. No, I wasn't in love yet, but I knew you were something amazing, because as you and I drove to that radio station and we got the news that the missile was already in the air, in that moment, do you know what I thought about? You. I thought I'd never get the chance to find out what your favorite food is or what kind of music you like or your favorite books. I thought about my family. I thought about my friends. And I thought about the sweet, funny, damn cute, smart-ass guy next to me in the passenger's seat that I'd never get the chance to know. That's what I thought about while the world was ending."

Benji was looking at him now. Will's hands had slipped down to grip Benji's arms.

"I didn't know that," Benji said.

"Yeah, well maybe I should've said something before now. Before the shower. I should've asked you out like a normal person instead of jumping on you like that. But I'd gone and analyzed myself right out of trying, and by the time I finally found the courage, I was little more than a speeding train full of hormones, but Benji, listen to me; you were safe with me in that shower that night. Your heart was safe with me. It meant something when I called you 'baby'."

And there it was, the thing that Benji had needed to make this entire evening make sense. It wasn't candles. It wasn't wine. It wasn't Will's special river place, although that had been nice. It wasn't impromptu midnight concerts in the basement, although that certainly hadn't hurt. It wasn't unexpected visits from Will's past or old photos or even Will's mother being more of a mother than Benji's mother ever had been, and now Benji understood why.

Those things, while they'd helped bring the complete picture of Will Brandt into clearer focus, had felt like pressure to Benji. All weekend, Benji had been thinking, _This is the part where I'm supposed to fall in love with him._ And perhaps he really had been falling for Will in those moments, but the fact was he'd been ticking off plot points in his head. Benji had been standing by and watching, wondering when the credits were going to roll.

What felt real to Benji was this, a good old-fashioned fight, genuine feelings, specific feelings, not some vague thing they'd decided was love, not staged romance and little moments that felt like movie clips. It wasn't the expectation to fall. It was seeing the real, raw, un-airbrushed person before him and falling anyway.

Well, he supposed the fight was kind of a plot point too, but that was beside the point.

This was the moment when he was supposed to undress and stand before Will in nothing but the heather-gray boxer briefs that just happened to be identical to the ones he'd worn their first night together. He was fully aware of how well this moment would have fit into the "script", but he didn't care. It felt right to him as he stepped back and pulled his t-shirt off, as he lowered his pajamas to the floor, stepped out of them and then straightened back up to stand nearly naked before Will. Yes, he was wearing the heather-gray boxer briefs. He'd expected Will to be pleased with this decision. He had not expected to be so pleased with it himself.

"So, here I am," Benji said, "with my skinny arms and my narrow shoulders and my complete lack of visible muscle tone. It's all right here, more beefcake than you can shake a stick at. All this could be yours." He gestured at himself like he was a prize on a game show. He thought Will would be annoyed, but Will merely smiled softly at him, watched him with his head slightly canted. Benji dropped his arms to his sides, dropped his schtick altogether and looked into Will's eyes despite the overwhelming urge to keep right on quipping, to let his fidgeting push his gaze away from Will's face.

"So, um, I love you," Benji said. "I know I said it a minute ago. I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry for that. Because now I know it for sure."

What love was, Benji still wasn't sure. But he thought it had something to do with not being afraid to show yourself to the person you loved, to show them the real, raw, un-airbrushed version of yourself, to lower your armor and risk being hurt. That was what Will had seen that night as he'd looked at Benji from outside the bathroom. Benji had peeled away his armor along with his clothes, and for one brief moment he'd stood there, emotionally naked. He'd let Will see him, let Will stare at the body that Benji still didn't fully trust or even like, let Will see the raw vulnerability that Benji had been too tired to hide. Will had seen the Benji that doubts himself, the Benji that beats himself up when he makes mistakes, the Benji that doesn't necessarily bounce right back with a quick one-liner after a scare. And rather than recoil, Will had advanced.

That was it, or part of it at least; trusting that your flaws were beautiful to someone.

Benji still wasn't completely clear on all of love's aspects, but he felt it now as deeply as he felt his own stomach somersaulting nervously inside him.

Will stepped toward him and touched him, placed his hands on Benji's arms, let his fingertips travel up their length until his palms cupped Benji's shoulders. They went down his torso next, down over his flat chest and stomach. Those hands pulled Benji close and the arms encircled him. And when Benji looked at Will's face, he saw the Will that was just as afraid as Benji was of having his heart broken, the Will that had been battered by Benji's armor all weekend long and had finally cracked.

"I'm sorry," Benji whispered, cupping Will's face. "I'm here now. I'm sorry."

"Shhh," Will hushed him, the little shake of his head telling Benji that it was okay. "I love the way you blush when you're nervous," he whispered. "Or embarrassed. Or horny. I love that you blush all the way from your head to your chest and all the way out to your shoulders." He caressed all those places on Benji's body as he spoke, and then his hands came to rest on Benji's waist. "And I like that you're smaller than me. I like that I could pick you up if I wanted to."

"I'm pleased that my girlish frame excites you so."

"You're not girlish." Will moved a hand down to Benji's groin and cupped him there, gently massaging Benji's half-hard cock. Benji's eyes went sleepy and he gripped Will's arms for balance as Will increased the pressure and diverted the remaining blood from Benji's brain. Down below, Benji swelled against Will's palm.

"Doesn't feel girlish to me," Will whispered.

Benji squeezed Will's muscles and stared at his still-clothed chest in awe until he realized that not only was he already breathing harder, but Will had also stopped speaking. "I'm sorry, I… your body makes me hyperventilate a bit."

"Just breathe, baby," Will murmured.

"If I start to freak out, go get me a paper bag to breathe into, and for god's sake, put a long-sleeved shirt on."

"Will do."

"You're not really going to pick me up, are you?"

"No, I'll let you walk to the bed. This time."

Benji helped Will out of his shirt. He touched Will in much the same way Will had touched him before; his face, his chest, his shoulders – good god, his shoulders – and Benji was extra gentle with the shoulder he knew had been injured during their last mission. Will dropped his pants next and stood before Benji naked and very hard. For a while he just let Benji touch and admire him before he finally reached out and lowered the front of Benji's underwear to free his cock. Will swore under his breath as he looked down at it, took it in his hand and just felt it. Benji pushed his underwear down, let them drop and stepped out of them. Will pulled Benji's naked body firmly against his own and kissed him deeply before finally guiding him to the bed where they fell down together.

Will kissed his way down Benji's body and sucked at a spot just above Benji's left hipbone, the spot Will knew had been smacked with a crowbar during their last mission. It had long since healed, but Benji would always remember what had happened there, and it seemed so would Will. Maybe this was another moment of melding together, the two of them becoming acutely aware of each other's injuries, each man carrying the other's old hurts around with him as if they were his own, babying those areas as if he could feel the stiffness that lingered in them. Benji thought he'd be okay with that. He liked it so much that it made Will sucking his formerly bruised skin that much more erotic. Will licked at the spot, like a cat licking a wound. Benji petted his hair, then let his hand drift to Will's bad shoulder to pet it too.

Will moved to Benji's groin next, sliding his face across Benji's belly and down to his hard-on to nose at it. Then he sat up straight, on his knees, between Benji's spread legs, and gazed while caressing Benji's skin. Benji let him look, didn't even close his eyes. He made himself watch Will taking him in, even though it made him self-conscious. He didn't wince when Will's hands touched the slight softness at his belly or his far too slender thighs. It took everything Benji had to keep his mouth shut, to not crack a joke or start talking incessantly.

Even Will seemed nervous this time. This wasn't alpha Will. This Will seemed young and tentative. He wanted this to be good. Benji was sure that it would be, was sure that it couldn't _not_ be, but maybe Will didn't know that. Maybe he'd gone to the place in his head where he thought too much and obsessed over details.

"Will?" Benji said softly, touching the hand Will had laid on his belly. "Have you gone to the bad place?"

Will smiled at him. "No. Just staring at you. I just love you."

Benji relaxed, some of his own nerves dissolving. "I'm not sure how to handle that, you know, you just staring at me. Sort of makes me want to break into a monologue about an epic staring contest I had when I ten."

Will smirked. "You hear a laugh track in your head, don't you?"

Benji blushed. "Of course not… sometimes."

"I'm making you nervous, aren't I?"

"A bit. But it's okay." Benji took his hand off of Will's and brought both hands up to his own chest, laid them there. Then he decided that down at his sides was better, more open, more of an invitation, more of an offering, so he laid his arms at his sides and shifted a bit, spread his legs a little more.

The gesture wasn't lost on Will. He lowered his face to Benji's body again, buried it in Benji's stomach to kiss and smell him. He wasted little time getting Benji's cock in his mouth. He engulfed Benji with a hungry groan and Benji felt the head bump against the back of Will's throat. Alpha Will was emerging, hungry, horny, want-it-right-now Will. He was all mouth and tongue and hands and need. He wrapped his big fist around Benji's shaft and stroked as he sucked on the head and lapped at the leaking slit. He had lips that were just perfect for sucking, nice, full lips that looked lovely wrapped around a hard cock or pressing delicate kisses to it. He brushed those perfect lips against the sensitive spot just underneath the head and then he locked his dark, lust-filled eyes on Benji's face as his tongue slipped out to flick at that same spot. He looked almost sinister and the entire effect was devastatingly hot. There was even a bit of a snarl, his upper lip twitching into a subtle curl.

The look on Benji's face (which Benji imagined was a mix of helplessness, desperation, and dazed horniness) must have really been doing it for Will, because his free hand disappeared down underneath himself and Benji knew he was playing with himself. His hot breath came in harder, faster puffs against Benji's dick, and just past Will's head Benji could see Will's ass moving in a slow circle as he thrust into the fist he had sandwiched between himself and the mattress.

"Don't make me come yet," Benji breathed. He then dissolved into a series of moans as Will's mouth engulfed him again and sucked him so hard, Benji thought he was trying to suck an orgasm right out of him. Will didn't make him come, though. He released Benji's cock, sat up again and fell into Benji's arms, kissing his mouth hard.

Will broke the kiss and looked down at Benji, and there was that same face that had smiled at Benji while fucking him that first night, dark, sleepy eyes and a hint of a smirk. He brought a finger to Benji's mouth and Benji instinctively let it in to suck on it. Then Will shifted, lifting up off Benji a bit, and brought his wet finger down between Benji's legs. Benji let go of Will and pulled his legs back instead, already letting out a shuddering breath in anticipation of Will's touch. When Will's finger found his hole and began rimming it, Benji sighed and closed his eyes.

"Did I go too fast before?" Will asked. Benji opened his eyes and looked at him quizzically. "In the shower. Did I hurt you?"

"No. Why?"

"Earlier, you said something to Katie that made me wonder."

Benji thought back to the conversation on the porch. "No, Will, that was for her. She's a newbie, she's got to learn to listen to her body. I was ready for you that night. I was so ready, you have no idea."

Will nodded, looking relieved. "Mind if I head south for a while?" he whispered, giving Benji's hole a firm press with his finger. "There are lots of things I wanted to do to you that night that I didn't get the chance to do."

Benji didn't hesitate, immediately nodded. Will kissed him again and then slid back down to Benji's groin. "Hand me the pillow," Will instructed. Benji removed the pillow from beneath his head and handed it down. Will had him raise up a bit and he slid the pillow underneath Benji's hips. It raised Benji's ass up, made it easier to hold his legs back and allowed Will to get a good look at him down there. He caressed Benji's cheeks and the undersides of his thighs, then he went straight in, burying his face against Benji's body with another hungry noise. He moved his face just slightly from side to side as he licked and kissed at Benji's entrance. He was breathing hard through his nose, taking in Benji's scent, exhaling with a moan and then eagerly inhaling again.

Benji didn't even have to hold his legs back. He let gravity take them, let them hang in the air, and he concentrated on the sensation of Will's mouth and tongue on his body. The two of them hadn't done this before. Their first night together, when Will had convinced Benji to come to bed with him, they'd sucked each other off, cuddled and fallen asleep. Benji hadn't gotten the pleasure of feeling Will's tongue pushing inside him this way. Benji's eyes drifted shut and his hand went down to play with his cock.

Will's fingers joined in and soon he had three of them slipping in and out of Benji with ease, alternating with his tongue, and each time he pulled his fingers out, he curled them upward and stroked deliberately at Benji's prostate. It made Benji tug at himself a little faster, made his body tense, made him clench around Will's fingers. Benji was as open and relaxed as he was going to get. He touched Will's hair, ran his fingers through it, whispered Will's name.

Will's piercing eyes looked up at Benji as he stopped eating and raised his head. His mouth and chin and even his nose were wet with spit. He wiped them with his hand and panted, "You okay?"

Benji smiled lazily at him. "Now," he murmured. "I'm ready if you are."

He remained where he was, his ass perched on the pillow, and Will knelt before him. Benji watched him slick lube along his shaft, groaned as Will's slippery fingers coated Benji's insides too. 

Benji took Will as quietly as he could, but a few moans had to escape him as Will's girth filled him up. Will stood tall on his knees, and Benji watched every expression pass over his features – from pained to relaxed to blissful – as Benji's body gripped him, as he began slowly pumping back and forth. Will's hands gripped the undersides of Benji's thighs and he watched his own dick moving in and out, his mouth open just slightly, his bottom lip pouty and wet.

Then Will leaned over Benji, onto his elbows, knees on the pillow on either side of Benji's ass, and looked down into Benji's eyes as he pumped into him faster. They were quiet this time, and it was more than just the very real possibility of Emily hearing them. This time felt more intimate, more private. It wasn't for anyone else to hear. So, when Benji's body fully adjusted and Will began fucking him full tilt, they both kept as quiet as they could, breathing hard against each other's skin, the intensity showing on their faces instead of ringing out in their voices. Benji winced as Will pounded into him, opened his mouth to cry out, but it was a mere whimper that escaped him. The bed creaked and their skin slapped with telltale rhythm, but they both seemed to make their peace with that; once Will got going fast and hard, neither of them wanted him to stop.

Will raised up a bit and braced himself by raising an arm to grip the old, wooden headboard. He caressed Benji's face with his free hand as he gazed down at him. He was close. Benji could tell by the intensity seeping into Will's eyes, by the twitching jaw muscles, by the uneven quality of his breaths. Benji reached up to touch him, let his hands glide over Will's chest. The one exposed armpit was more inviting than any armpit should ever be, that little space beneath that big shoulder, the tuft of hair begging to be petted. Benji gripped Will's tricep, gave it an appreciative squeeze, then let his hand slide down and come to lie flat against the warm nook beneath Will's shoulder. To Will's credit, he barely flinched. Benji would have curled up in a giggling ball had someone done that to him, but Will merely smiled.

"You got a fetish you wanna tell me about?" Will murmured, his thrusts slowing. "You can tell me, I'm surprisingly open-minded."

Benji thought his fetish was probably Will-specific. He shyly asked, "Can I kiss you there?"

Will gave him a big grin. "You can kiss anything you want," he said as he withdrew.

They switched positions, Will taking Benji's place and putting the pillow underneath his head. He laid there with his hands clasped above his head on the pillow and watched as Benji gingerly began to explore. Benji had been too awkward and uncertain to do this the first time, or perhaps too taken aback by the whole encounter to make requests or indeed think clearly at all. He kissed across Will's chest now, feeling with his lips, then he nestled his face against Will's neck, sucked there while caressing Will's firm belly. He finally worked up the courage to kiss his way to the armpit he was closest to. He kissed around its perimeter first, then nudged at it with his nose, sniffing. It smelled faintly of soap, but more importantly of Will. Pheromones went rushing to Benji's brain, which spoke directly to his cock, saying something along the lines of, _Unnnghghgunghgunnghghghgngh…_

Benji may very well have said that out loud. He wasn't sure, as Will's concentrated scent had rendered him a brainless pile of hormones. Will sort of giggled, but that may have been due to the fact that Benji had buried his face in his armpit.

"You okay in there?" Will asked.

"Hunghunghgh…" Benji replied.

Will chuckled again, a low, contented sound, and Benji felt a big hand begin petting the back of his head.

"You're not ticklish," Benji said when he'd finally managed to come up for air.

Will smiled sleepily at him. "Not especially, no. You enjoyed yourself in there, didn't you?"

"Mm-hm," Benji hummed. "Think I'm ready for round two."

"Round two? We never got through with round… oh, god…" Will trailed off, his verbal skills taking a hit as he watched Benji get up and straddle him.

They re-lubed Will's cock and Benji worked it back up inside himself. He closed his eyes and wriggled around a bit, taking Will in inch by inch and letting out a long sigh as Will slid all the way in. When he opened his eyes, he found Will watching his body with heavily-lidded eyes and a slack jaw. He felt Will's cock throb inside him.

"My god," Will remarked.

"I take it you're enjoying the show."

"I… can't remember my name."

Benji supposed that was more than enough reason to not be self-conscious, so he tried not to be as he sat up tall and began to ride. Will's lust-dazed eyes following the circle Benji's hips made as they rolled, his hands touched Benji's body every place they could reach. He finally gripped Benji's hips and began pounding up into him, the initial surprise of it making Benji yelp just as there was a creak on the stairs out in the hall.

"I think I heard something," Benji panted.

"Shh, it's nothing."

"Will, stop."

Will reluctantly obeyed and they both stilled and listened. They heard nothing beyond the bedroom door, but Benji wasn't convinced.

Seconds later they heard Emily moving around in the bathroom next door.

"I told you," Benji whispered.

"Lie down," Will whispered back.

Benji would have preferred to not move at all, but he pulled Will out of himself and got down on the bed next to him, wincing as the bed creaked something terrible.

"Put your back to me," Will whispered.

"You've got to be joking," Benji hissed a little too loudly.

"Shh, trust me, I'll go slowly."

Emily left the bathroom, but not the second floor. They heard her footsteps retreating down the hall, toward her own bedroom. Benji seized the opportunity to shift over onto his side so Will could spoon him. The bed groaned underneath them as they settled again, Will's warm chest pressing to Benji's sweaty back. Will began kissing Benji's neck as his hand slipped down between them to reinsert his cock, and despite Benji's better judgment, he couldn't help but arch and push back against it. He groaned softly as Will filled him up once more, as Will pressed all the way in and wrapped his arms around him.

True to his word, Will went slowly, moving in and out almost gingerly. The bed only creaked a little when he moved too much. He rocked gently against Benji, his body like an unending wave. The only sounds were their breaths and the soft kisses Will pressed to Benji's neck and shoulder over and over, as though he was bestowing kisses on each and every freckle he could find back there.

Will tweaked one of Benji's nipples, and down the hall Emily started humming a little tune as she moved about her room; Benji could just make out her faint voice and wondered if she'd heard his little moan just then as Will began rolling the nipple between thumb and forefinger. The sensation made Benji arch, made him raise his top leg into the air to spread himself open, and nestle his ass even more snugly against Will's groin. Will abandoned the nipple and held the leg aloft instead, brought it up and back as far as it would go. Benji felt wonderfully exposed and dirty and hot as Will's moist lips grazed his neck, as his cock began to piston in and out just a little faster. Benji turned his face up toward Will's and their lips found each other, their tongues dipping into each other's mouths.

Emily came back to their bathroom and they both went as quiet as possible, though the sound of their kissing suddenly seemed abnormally loud to Benji. He kept right on kissing anyway, lost in the feel and taste and smell and sound of Will.

Then Will stopped kissing and whispered, "Gonna make you come," as he let go of Benji's leg to reach around for his dick instead. Benji couldn't even protest, because as much as he wanted to, he was too far gone. His cock was desperate to be touched and when Will's fist closed around it and began stroking, Benji's tenuous grasp on his control began to slip away. The hand on him, the cock inside him, the voice in his ear; it was all a bit too much. His eyes rolled up for just a moment just as his lids drifted shut. His mouth fell open and every panting breath sent a little noise out with it, a moan or a grunt or a sigh or a whimper. He couldn't stop himself.

"You are the sexiest fucking thing," Will's low voice rumbled. "You have no idea, Benji, how gorgeous you are when you lose your shit like this."

Benji begged without words for Will's mouth, desperate for help to shut himself up. Will let him have it, kissed him so roughly, Benji's lips pressed painfully against his teeth, but it wasn't enough. Benji yanked his mouth away, turned his face away from Will and buried it in the pillow instead, filling his mouth with fabric to muffle his noises as his body finally erupted. He groaned into the pillow, unsure if it was sufficiently masking his noises but unable to stop making them. Will wasn't helping; he fucked Benji harder, stroked his cock faster, making the bed creak, and god, Will couldn't keep his mouth shut either, his low, shaky pleasure noises sounding impossibly loud in Benji's ear. Those sounds filled his entire universe and he was certain there was no way Emily wasn't hearing exactly what they were doing.

Then Benji began to come down and regain his faculties. He went quiet, pulled Will's hand off his cock, then reached back and pressed a hand firmly to Will's hip to stop him moving. He was able to relax as the pleasure coursing through him eased up and finally died. He sagged into the mattress and was grateful when Will's strong arms wrapped around him and cuddled him. Will was still rock-hard inside him, and Benji's muscles were still clenched tight from his climax, still hugging Will's cock as though they didn't want to let go.

"Love watching you come like that," Will whispered as he pressed kisses to Benji's damp skin.

"You… haven't come yet," Benji panted.

"I'm waiting for you to get your bearings. Unless you want me to pull out and –"

"No," Benji said instantly, turning his face up again to look at Will. He immediately regretted his enthusiasm, as though being so eager was some kind of sign of weakness. He swallowed down his insecurity and said, "I'd like you to, um, come inside me. Like before. That was nice."

Will's response wasn't quite a smile, but his gaze grew warmer, like his eyes were smiling, and he kissed Benji gently on the mouth. Benji felt him push in deep again, pressing his crotch firmly to Benji's ass, then pulling back, sliding in, pulling back. His hand caressed down Benji's side, feeling his skin, then settled on Benji's hip. His thrusts sped up, the bed creaked, their skin slapped. That telltale intensity soon returned to his face. Benji turned his own face away again, closed his eyes, and just rode the wave of pleasure that soon went crashing through Will's body. He moved with Will, pressed back against him to help him get in deeper on every thrust, even found himself panting and cursing along with Will as though he could feel Will's climax.

It was during the last few moments of orgasm that Will pushed Benji onto his stomach and rolled with him to fuck him from above. Benji went, eagerly spreading his legs once he was on his belly, his right leg dangling over the side of the bed, and he arched up against Will's pounding. Will's hand snaked underneath Benji and went down between Benji's legs to fondle his soft prick. Benji was still sensitive there and had to bury his face in the pillow again to muffle his grunts as he jerked against Will's body.

Then Will slowed, and Benji's tight muscles could feel every twitch of Will's cock. With a shudder, Will came to a stop, his body finally empty.

It was now that Benji remembered Emily. Was she still in the bathroom? His eyes flew open and he listened closely, but all he could hear was Will's heavy breaths and soft groans as he withdrew and rolled onto his back.

"Your mother," Benji said as he raised his head and looked over at Will.

Will frowned and looked slowly at Benji. "I beg your pardon?"

"Is she still in there?" Benji whispered, pointing to the wall to the right of the bed.

Will looked relieved. Benji supposed that directly after climax wasn't the best time to bring up a guy's mother. "Oh," Will said. "No, heard her go downstairs while you were coming."

Benji put his head down with a relieved sigh. "We weren't terribly quiet just then, you know."

"I think you broke my brain," Will panted.

"My sincerest apologies," Benji mumbled into the pillow.

For a long while, they lay in each other's arms, sated and relaxed. When the sweat had dried from their skin, Will covered them both with the sheets, and they cuddled and kissed, neither saying a word until Will finally spoke.

He propped his head up on his hand and smiled lazily down at Benji. "I've never seen you this quiet for this long," he said. "Not without it worrying me, that is."

Benji gazed up at him and replied, "No babbling when I'm content… I like your nose. You have the best nose. Did you know that?"

Will laughed. "I'm sorry?"

"It's just terribly cute is all."

"Are you drunk?"

"No. I'm in love. Same difference, really."

"Good point."

"You know, I was thinking just now about what our name smush would be."

"Our what?"

"You know, since we're a couple now, we have to combine our names to make one name. Portmanteau. Like Bennifer or Brangelina."

"We have to? Says who?"

"The internet."

"Of course. You know, Benji, you don't have to do everything the internet tells you."

"I thought of Winji, but that just sounds like whinge and that's hardly flattering. Benjiam has too much of my name in it, not enough of yours. Billiam has the opposite problem, and Belliam sounds like an element on the periodic table, though, to be honest, I don't hate it. Willji… I just don't like Willji."

Will arched an eyebrow at him. "You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

"Bit frightening, isn't it?"

"Yes, actually."

"I thought of using our last names, too, but that didn't go very well."

"Who's even going to use this, what's it called, name smush?"

"I don't know. Friends."

"What friends? I don't have any friends who would refer to us that way."

Benji grinned. "What about Kate? I'll bet Kate loves a good name smush."

"Well… okay, probably, but to be fair, Katie still has Beanie Babies lined up in the back window of her car."

"Point taken… Wiljamin, maybe?"

Will sighed. "I can't believe I'm about to suggest this, but seeing as you have a tendency to obsess about problems until they're solved… what about a combination one first name and one last name? Like your first and my last." Will thought for a moment and then declared, "Bendt. Benji plus Brandt."

Benji stared at him. "You just came up with that?"

"Yeah."

"Just like that, after never even considering the concept before?"

"It's not exactly rocket science."

Benji thought for a moment, then, with a hint of surprise, he said, "I like it. All right, then, that's settled."

"Well, thank god that won't be keeping us awake at night."

Will put his head down again and stared at Benji's profile. "Is that name-smush thing kinda like being internet-married?"

"Never thought of it that way, but I suppose."

"Mm… What if we got married?"

Benji looked over at him. "What, like, right now?"

"No, not seriously. It's just pillow talk, right? Like the name-smush thing, just silliness."

"I'll have you know that name-smush thing is highly important."

Will smirked. "Okay, silly pillow talk begins now, then. Would you take my name? Hyphenate? I might be willing to hyphenate."

Benji considered, staring at the ceiling again. "Benjamin Dunn-Brandt. Benji Brandt. Nice ring to it."

"You know what that sounds like, don't you? Sounds like the mild-mannered alter ego of a super hero. Peter Parker. Clark Kent."

"Lois Lane," Benji pointed out. "Could also be the girlfriend of a super hero."

"But if only one of the two characters' names is going to have alliteration, it should be the super hero, not the girlfriend, shouldn't it? My name doesn't work."

"No one ever calls you Bill, then?"

"Touché."

"You even have an arch nemesis. Frankie. I've never had a nemesis. Not unless you count the bathroom scale."

"But you've got Kryptonite, though. The sun."

"That hardly counts. Anyone as pale as me isn't going to fare very well against the sun."

"Stop arguing. You are not just the love interest."

"You've had to rescue me before, though."

"And you me. That makes us even."

"Touché."

"You still don't think you belong with me, do you?"

The question seemed to come out of left field and made Benji frown at Will. "Why are you asking?"

"Couple things you've said since we met up this weekend have been bothering me. All that stuff about you losing your nerd membership for being with me, for example."

"I was joking."

"There's a lot of truth in joking sometimes."

"Oh, come on."

"Benji, I'm a nerd. Quote/unquote 'cool guys', or whatever you think the opposite of you is, don't become analysts."

"You were only an analysts because you got scared out of being a quote/unquote 'cool guy'."

"You're a field agent now. If you're not one of the quote/unquote 'cool guys', then I dunno who is. You think of me as being out of your league or something and it's just not the case."

"What difference does it make? I'm here, I'm with you. Sure, I've got insecurities, but I'm not going anywhere."

With a sigh, Will was up on his elbow again, looking down at Benji with his serious face and his frown lines. "You don't get it. You decided a long time ago what your role in life is, and despite everything you've accomplished you still wear your label like one of those house arrest ankle bracelets. You can do anything, Benji. You became a field agent because you wanted to, not because of Ethan. He may have inspired you, but no amount of Ethan being amazing at his job could have lit that fire in you if it hadn't already been there. You killed a man to save the world. Remember? After seeing you hold a gun, seeing how foreign it obviously felt to you, I never would've guessed that you could just take a guy out without so much as a flinch. But you did. When it mattered, you came through. When the world needed you."

It still amazed Benji that Will felt that way about him. Will was right; Benji wore his label with a certain amount of geek pride, but he also hid behind it, let it define him when it was convenient. He _had_ helped save the world, despite his fears, so yes, he could do things, amazing things, but not for the reasons Will thought.

"Will," Benji said quietly, timidly, "I killed him for you."

Will blinked at him. "What?"

"Well, no, I killed Wistrom because he needed to be taken out, because the world needed him gone." Benji paused, reconsidered his words. "Or at least incapacitated for a while," he clarified. "I remember being awfully casual about wanting to take Moreau out, and I'm sorry for that, because killing Wistrom taught me something. I'd been hanging out in a lab for so long, safe and sound at my desk, playing with gadgets, I didn't realize… it's serious, what we do in the field. People die. They don't come back. And now I'm directly responsible for another human being never being able to come back, and that's huge despite the fact he was kind of a nutter. I took my shot, the only shot I could take in the time that I had, and it was a lethal shot and I've thought about that every single day since. In the moment it was easy, plain and simple, had to be done, for the good of everyone, for me and you and Ethan and Jane and my family and just everyone, but it wasn't the world that I was thinking about when I pulled that trigger. It wasn't billions of lives, it wasn't the children and the puppies and kittens and all the beauty that would be erased. It was you, Will. In that split second I was thinking about saving you."

Will's expression had softened as he listened. He remained quiet now, taking in Benji's words.

"It was just one life that I thought about in that split second," Benji continued, "just one tiny bit of beauty that walks the earth. Just you. In that moment I wasn't being selfless. It wasn't for the greater good, it was for me. I wanted you here. I didn't want you to not come back." He shrugged, sheepish. "I liked you. You weren't like Ethan. There are superhuman things about you, but you're not superhuman. You were this regular guy who happened to have a killer body and an amazing brain and a taste for danger, like when we were driving through Dubai and Ethan nearly hit those camels and we swerved, and while Jane and I were annoyed and slightly terrified, you and Ethan were giggling like school girls because that's what you do, you crave the adrenaline rush and I'm clearly drawn to that sort of guy, that big, strong, alpha sort of guy, but Ethan frightens me a bit, he's too much of an action hero, he's just not normal, not to mention he's straight as an arrow, but you, you were logical and serious and down to earth, with a mind like a machine, and you pinged my gaydar like a parade float full of rainbow-colored peacocks… and you bantered with me. It just seemed like we would get on well.

"You were right when you said that our banter was always foreplay, and it's like you said when you were talking about what you were thinking while the world was ending; I just wanted the chance to know you. My focus narrowed that night. I forgot about saving the world, I forgot about Hendricks, I forgot about the missile, and all I could see was Wistrom choking the life out of you. And I got angry."

There were more words inside Benji ready to come tumbling out without so much as a helpful full stop here and there to tell him when to stop and breathe, but Will kissed him then, hard and deep, shutting him up and wiping his mind clean of everything else he was going to say. When the kiss ended, Will held Benji tight and didn't speak for a while.

"Are you all right?" Benji whispered.

Will kissed his forehead. "Yeah. Perfect, actually. Except one thing." Will looked at him. "Only you could call saving a person's life 'selfish'. I don't care why you did it. I don't care what was going through your head at the time. You saved the world, bottom line. And even if that shot had only saved me, instead of the entire planet, that's enough, Benji. Ease up on yourself a bit. Saving one life isn't nothing."

Benji was quiet. He closed his eyes and clung to Will.

"Okay?" Will said.

"Okay," Benji replied, his voice muffled against Will's chest. "But I have to say, I think we both need to sort out our priorities."

Will laughed. "Hey, whatever works, right? I love you, Benji."

"I love you too."

"You're my knight, you know."

Benji smiled against Will's collar bone. "Your what?"

"Maybe _I'm_ just the love interest. Ever consider that? You're my knight, Benji Dunn."

Benji stayed quiet as Will kissed his face and cuddled him. Benji cuddled back, and their lips crossed paths, brushing and pursing gently against one another. They then settled in each other's arms.

After a few minutes of silence, Will asked, "You wanna make a joke, don't you?"

"It's killing me," Benji replied.

Will chuckled. "Well, go on, then. Say it, whatever it is."

"Really? You won't be angry? I won't ruin the moment?"

"No, it's okay. Your humor is something I love about you. I don't want you to not be yourself. I just don't want you to push me away."

Benji decided against it. "Nah. The moment passed a while ago."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He closed his eyes and yawned. He was ready to let sleep take him. "I don't need to say it," he added. "It's enough to know that I could if I needed to. Thank you."

"No problem."

* * *

In the morning it was finally time to go. They let Emily feed them one last time – banana pancakes and sausage – then showered and got their things together. Emily caught Will sneaking down to the laundry room with his bedsheets and was on him like a guard dog, but Will insisted on at least starting the washer himself. Benji was grateful for Will's insistence; washing Benji's underpants was one thing, but washing the sheets they'd not only had sex on, but upon which Benji's come was also splattered, was something entirely different.

There was a lengthy goodbye, during which Emily was as tearful about Benji leaving as she was about Will's departure. Benji longed for his flat and his busy, colorful street, but he was going to miss Emily and her little yellow house. He was going to miss Will's world.

"I hope to see you again soon," Emily told him as she hugged him goodbye.

"Me too. You've been a wonderful host. Thank you for everything."

"No trouble at all. I loved having you boys here." She pulled back and smiled up at him. "You know, I'm planning a big surprise party for William's Uncle Jerry in two weeks. Maybe you two could stop by." She craned her neck to look at Will, who was standing by with two large containers of food Emily had insisted they take with them. "Everyone would love to see you, William, and you could introduce Benji to the family."

"One thing at a time, Ma," Will said with an indulgent smile and a twinkle in his eye that told Benji he wasn't entirely put off by the idea. As for Benji, his palms had grown clammy at the very mention of meeting Will's family. But he wasn't completely put off by it, either.

Will handed Benji the containers and told him to go wait in the car. "I think I forgot something upstairs," Will told him, handing him the car key as well.

"What'd you forget? I made sure we grabbed everything. You know me, I don't leave things behind."

"I just wanna double check. Go on, I'll be right out."

Will gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then hurried away, back toward the stairs. Benji bid Emily another goodbye, this time kissing her cheek as well, and then stepped outside into the sun, shoving his aviators onto his face.

He put the containers in the backseat of Will's car and then glanced up toward Will's bedroom window. It was hard to tell, but Benji didn't think he could see any movement in the room. Then something down on the first floor caught his eye. The front door hadn't been closed yet and Benji could see Will through the screen door trotting down the last few steps. Benji ducked and stuck his head back inside the car, trying to look busy because Will would have a perfect view of him if he looked toward the door. A few seconds later, Benji hazarded a glance up; he saw Will's retreating back, watched him hang a left into the kitchen and disappear.

Benji shut the car door and went back to the porch, then reconsidered and headed around the side of the house instead. The kitchen windows were almost always open during the day.

 _You're an arse and he's going to catch you,_ he thought as he approached the two windows on the side of the house. _What are you eavesdropping for, anyway, what do you think he could possibly be up to?_ Benji didn't have an answer for himself. All he had was a hunch and a few minutes, so he positioned himself against the house, between the two windows, and listened.

"William, you're being stubborn."

"Ma, just take it."

"I will not," Emily replied, sounding as calm as if she were discussing the weather. "Now then, about that tiny bed of yours. I was thinking of replacing it with something bigger. You and Benji will need a real bed to sleep in when you visit –"

"I don't care about the bed. I care about you taking this check."

"You can just put that away." Now she sounded tense. "I'm sorry you had to waste a perfectly good check, but you should've asked first before you made it out to me."

"You would have said no."

"Well, now, what does that tell you?"

Movement in Benji's periphery caught his eye and he glanced to his right to see Simon's furry, white face and big, blue eyes peering at him from around the back of the house. Benji raised a finger to his lips to tell Simon to be quiet, as if the cat had ever made a noise in his presence before except to bitch at Edgar. Simon wasn't about to come near him, anyway.

Except that he was. To Benji's surprise, Simon came trotting around the corner. He slowed as he neared Benji, then sat down a few feet away and just watched him.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," Benji whispered.

"How much did you give her?" he heard Will ask.

"It's not important," Emily replied. "And it's none of your business."

"You said we couldn't discuss it in front of Benji. Well, he's outside now, so let's talk. How much, Ma?"

"Just enough to get her through the next couple of months."

"Well, what are we talking here, a couple of months of living like a normal human being or a couple of months of living like Aunt Sara?"

"William –"

"You're enabling her. You know that, right? You're not doing her any favors and you're certainly not doing yourself any. You can't fix her. She doesn't need charity, she needs professional help."

"You know it's not that simple," Emily retorted. Much of her fire had died. She didn't sound tense anymore. She sounded tired.

"It isn't going to get any easier if we continue supporting her. Listen, I wrote down a web address and left it in your bedroom on your dresser. It's a really helpful site that lists a bunch of treatment centers. You can even search by zip code –"

"I can't do that."

"Yes, you can."

"No, William, I can't do that to her."

"You say that like this is a bad thing."

"She'll be so angry if I bring this up again."

"I know. But you're the only one she's liable to listen to." There was a long pause, and then Will added, "Think it might be time to stage an intervention?"

Benji didn't hear Emily respond.

"Then when?" Will asked. "How long do you think she can go on like this?"

"I don't know. I have no idea."

Benji had heard enough. He'd stayed and kept listening far too long already. He turned and headed back out toward the car. A second later, Simon joined him, trotting alongside him.

"Oh, I see," Benji said to him. "You like me now that I'm leaving, right?"

Or perhaps Simon was just making sure Benji _was_ leaving. Benji almost got the impression Simon knew exactly what Benji had just been doing and was trying to protect Emily. But when Benji opened the passenger's side of Will's car and sat down, Simon came closer to sniff at the leg of his jeans. Simon then looked up at him and meowed.

"What?" Benji asked. "No, I'm not petting you now. You had all weekend to get to know me."

Simon meowed again and sat his butt down on the driveway, standing his ground.

"Oh, fine," Benji sighed, reaching outside the car to scratch Simon's head. Simon's eyes narrowed with contentment. "Could've been getting head scratches all weekend if you weren't such a snob." Simon nosed at Benji's fingers, sniffing them. "Yeah, that's probably Will you're smelling. Is that it? You like me now that his scent is all over me? Is that what you were waiting for? For me to give in to all this relationship business?"

Will emerged from the house just then. He turned to give Emily one last hug goodbye, then he put his sunglasses on and came toward the car. Emily waved at Benji from the doorway, and Benji waved back. Simon got up and trotted away, hopped up onto the porch and slipped through Emily's legs, into the house.

"Was that Simon?" Will asked as he got into the car and shut his door.

Benji shut his door too. "Yeah, came over to say goodbye, I guess."

"Did he let you pet him?"

"Yeah."

"Impressive. He doesn't usually warm up to strangers that quickly. Took him a full twenty-four hours to get used to me again, and he knows me."

Benji was quiet as they pulled out of the driveway and headed out of the neighborhood. He stayed quiet as they found their way to the highway and as Will reached over and laid a hand on his thigh.

"You okay?" Will asked.

"Yeah," Benji replied. "Just thinking."

"About anything in particular?"

Several things in particular. Benji was thinking about the conversation he'd overheard. He was thinking about all the things Will had been saying to him that weekend and on the night they'd first hooked up, all the encouraging things, the sweet things. He was thinking back to the very start of their date, at the cafe.

"You rescue people," Benji said suddenly.

"Sorry?"

"That's your role, the one you chose for yourself long ago, the one that defines you. It's why you became a field agent in the first place. You save people."

"Well… yeah, I suppose."

"So, what happens when they don't need saving anymore?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not talking about people we help on the job. I'm talking about people in your life. Your mother is a constant problem for you to fix. First, it was her love life when you were a kid, and now it's her finances and her sister. You mentioned an ex-boyfriend who was always a mess. Josie Quinn needed you as much as you needed her, and now there's me. I'm insecure, I'm anxiety-ridden, I don't see my own potential… My god, tell me this ex of yours wasn't blond, blue-eyed and British."

"He wasn't, Benji," Will muttered, taking his hand off Benji's leg.

"What happens when you fix me? What happens when all the work is done?"

"That's not why I like you."

"Bullshit."

"It's _not_ ," Will snapped. "Don't diminish my feelings like that. I know what you're doing. It's the same thing you've been trying to do this entire weekend. You're trying figure me out. You're so skeptical, you're so cynical, you're so afraid, that you can't just accept this for what it is, you have to pick and pick and pick at it, looking for the flaw, the real reason behind it, until you completely pick it apart and there's nothing left. Is this why you've never had a relationship last longer than a year?"

Benji stared out his window at the gray buildings on the horizon. "I wasn't trying to diminish your feelings. I'm not saying that you don't love me."

"No, I know what you're saying," said Will, his voice calmer now but still laced with tension. "You're saying that you're scared. You've been saying it all weekend. You've been saying it since our first night together. You can't trust this because you're scared."

Benji wanted to point out how much Will was probably loving that; poor, scared Benji who can't trust, who can't let love in, who's so damaged that he pushes everything away. This was right up Will's alley, another soul to save. That was why he'd gotten frightened out of field work. He couldn't save Julia and it shook his core, made him question who he was. All Ethan had done was reawaken that part of Will that Will had tried to squash, and Will had picked up right where he'd left off.

Of course, Benji could have been wrong. He'd been wrong about many things before. And Will was right; Benji's relationship track record kind of spoke for itself.

"I'm sorry," Benji said. "You're probably right, I'm probably just looking for an out because I'm terrified."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Benji nodded. "You realize that I'm not entirely convinced that me being scared and you having a saving-people complex are mutually exclusive."

Will actually smiled as he watched the cars ahead of them. "I suppose I can't blame you. But Benji. I'm with you because I like you. This isn't about saving you. Hell, how do you know it isn't about you saving me?"

"Touché. You know, I thought I'd got past all this last night."

"Baby steps." Will's hand returned to Benji's thigh. "I love you."

Benji didn't doubt that. But Will's perfect, peaceful suburb was far behind them, and Benji's loud, hectic city was looming on the horizon and just as Benji had feared, nothing felt quite as perfect anymore, not like it had in Emily's quiet neighborhood.

"That fight just now," Benji said, "that was the Kick."

"The what?"

"To wake us up. Take us from one date back into the first."

"Ah. Date-ception."

"Bingo."

Benji looked at the hand on his thigh. He wanted this. He wanted it badly and it was right there, with its hand on his thigh like it owned him, and it was perfect and felt so good and Benji was all too ready to keep pushing it away.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" he asked.

"Hm?"

"When you went back into the house."

"Oh. No. No, not quite."

Will had no intention of telling Benji what he'd actually gone back for. Benji supposed it was really none of his business. Emily hadn't wanted to discuss it in front of him. Will was only respecting her wishes, like a good son. Benji laid his hand on top of the hand on his thigh and was rewarded with a little squeeze from Will.

"You know, I've been thinking about what you said about Croatia," Benji said.

Will's fingers rubbed back and forth on Benji's thigh. "Oh?"

"Yeah. You know Julia wasn't your fault, don't you?"

Will was quiet for a moment. "Benji –"

"No, you have to know that. I mean, how long have you been carrying that around? It wasn't you. I can't imagine you dropping the ball, ever. I can't imagine you not giving a hundred and ten percent. Sometimes we do our best and things still go pear shaped. You think Ethan would blame you if he knew? I don't. It wasn't you. If I need to ease up on myself, then so do you."

More heavy silence. Benji watched Will's jaw muscles twitch and wondered if he'd said something wrong, but then Will gave Benji's thigh another squeeze and quietly said, "Thank you. That means a lot."

"Forget it."

"You know, this no secrets thing… I said I wouldn't keep things from you, and I meant it, but sometimes there are secrets that aren't exactly mine, things that I have no right to divulge. I'm not going to keep things from you… unless I have to."

"I know."

"I'm serious –"

"Will, I know. I don't expect you to tell me everything. We all have secrets. Whether we want to or not. 'Specially in our line of work."

Will still seemed troubled, but he nodded. "Yeah."

They spent the rest of the day together, hanging out in Benji's city, and at several points during the afternoon Benji even let Will hold his hand.

"Sorry about the sweaty palms," Benji said at one point.

Will had squeezed his hand. "It's okay."

"Nerves. You know."

"Benji. Relax. I've had your sweat on me before. I kinda liked it, remember?"

"Right. Okay. It's just, you know, holding hands. With my boyfriend. In public. I'm convinced everyone's looking. Like those dream people in _Inception_. Any second now all these people are going to realize something's not right and all their eyes are going swivel this way."

"What's not right? Two guys holding hands?"

"No, not that." It had taken Benji a moment to figure it out himself, but he finally realized what it was. "I'm with someone and I'm happy," he said.

This had prompted Will to drop Benji's hand and sling an arm around him instead, pulling him close and kissing his cheek as they'd walked along the boardwalk that stretched along a beach near Benji's flat.

Evening caught up to them and Benji finally decided to show Will his place.

"So, this is it. Sorry it's so dark," Benji said as he led Will inside. He flipped a switch that turned on the light at the front door. The place had an open-concept design and from the door, the entirety of the kitchen and living room could be seen; the kitchen to their left, the living room directly ahead with an empty space in between where Benji supposed a dining table should go. The dining space had remained empty even after years of him living there.

The living room was shrouded in darkness; the floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall window that overlooked the balcony, directly across from the front door, was covered by blinds.

"It's not a huge place, really," Benji said as he headed toward the blinds. "Looks big at first glance. Got that second level up there." He gestured at the small, spiral staircase with the stainless steel banister. "But there's very little closet space. Horrible design. Whoever slapped this place together clearly had no sympathy for hoarders."

He tugged on the chain that rotated the blinds so that what was left of the day's light could come in. He then began pointing things out. "Kitchen, storage closet full of stuff – lots of old movies on VHS in there. That there's my flat screen, a.k.a. my beloved. Half-bathroom there, bedroom just up the stairs there, full bathroom up there too, and um… that's it, really. Nothing spectacular." He looked back to where Will was still standing a few feet from the door, hands in his pockets, looking around with a rather peaceful look on his face.

"I'd give you a proper tour," Benji said, "but I can't imagine it would be very interesting. It's just a normal flat, you know."

"I'd like to see everything," Will said. "It's your place, I'm curious."

"Well, okay. But if you touch something, you have to put it back exactly as it was, otherwise I'll go all Kathy-Bates-in- _Misery_ on you. I mean, I won't break your legs or anything, but changes to my environment are to my OCD-ish tendencies what smoke is to a smoke detector, so just be careful, otherwise my eye does this twitchy thing that you won't be able to see but I'll be able to feel it and it'll drive me mental."

"Okay," Will replied with a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Right. Okay. Follow me, then."

Benji showed him around properly, pointing out the neat, perfectly symmetrical stacks of DVDs and Blu-Rays and video games he had sitting on the lower shelf inside the TV stand. "That's only a fraction of it," he told Will. "The rest are in my bedroom closet."

He showed Will his action figures, still in their original packaging. "eBay, of course. Nothing I had when I was a boy is still in its packaging, unfortunately. Do not, under any circumstances, ever open these. Upon opening, the boxes release not only a toxin to knock you out, but also a specially-engineered pheromone, specifically designed to attract nerds. Every memorabilia nut in the city will find this place, knock down my front and come in to get you and break your knee caps for opening a previously unopened collector's item and diminishing its value."

"Soooo I _shouldn't_ open the action figures? Is that what you're saying?"

"Funny."

They went up the short, spiral staircase to the second floor where Benji pointed out the little alcove just to the right at the top of the stairs. Here, he had his desk, upon which sat his desktop computer and three laptops. Also in the space were his treadmill, a bookshelf, a stack of magazines on various subjects ranging from technology to medical science to science fiction to music to movies. There was also a comfy futon and a nice view through the floor-to-ceiling window that extended up from the living room.

"Why do you need four computers?" Will asked, surveying the space.

 _"Why?"_ Benji asked, as though it was a stupid question. He sighed. "I've so much to teach you."

They finished the tour in Benji's bedroom. Benji opened the door to the walk-in closet where there were indeed stacks and stacks of DVDs, Blu-Rays and video games up on the shelf. Down below, leaned up against a wall, was an old six-string Fender guitar.

"Shut up," Benji said.

"I didn't say anything," Will said.

"That was preemptive. No, I will not play for you. I know exactly three chords and they're all G."

"Benji?"

"What?"

"Let's start a band."

"Shut up."

The sky was growing dim outside the large window behind the bed that looked out over the city. They stopped at the foot of the bed and turned to face each other.

Benji shrugged. "That's it. That's my place. Told you it was boring."

"It's nice. It's cozy. It's a little anal. It's you."

Benji smiled at that, then said, "We should probably think about supper."

"I'm up for anything."

"There's a great sushi place across the street. We could head on over or… we could order in if you prefer. I've got their takeaway menu someplace."

Will nodded. "Takeout sounds good. We've been out all day, showing the world what a perfect couple we are. Let 'em miss us a little."

"Okay. And afterward?"

"Afterward what?"

"I guess you'll be heading to that hotel room you haven't slept in yet."

"Oh. Right. I will be, yeah. Heading to that hotel room I haven't slept in yet. Of course, I've already been charged for the night. I could just head over early tomorrow and get my stuff out before checkout."

"Oh. So, you would, what, not sleep there tonight, then?"

"Not if that's not what I should do."

Benji grinned. "What's that mean?"

"Whatever you want it to mean."

Benji shuffled his feet. "You could, if you wanted to, stick around. Here. Tonight. If you wanted, you know. It's not a twin bed or anything," he said, gesturing at his bed, "but it gets the job done."

Will stepped closer and murmured, "I'd love to stay the night."

The words themselves sent little tingles up Benji's spine. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his butterflies as he gazed at Will. He nodded his head "yes" and eagerly closed the gap between them. Will was more than happy to take Benji in his arms and kiss him. They didn't get a chance to order supper until hours later.

So, Will stayed the night. And the next night and the next.

  
**Two Weeks Later**   


The treadmill's buttons beeped as Benji pressed them to slow his speed. He slowed to a walk, then stopped and stepped off the machine, panting. He chugged the rest of the water from his water bottle and looked out at the day through the floor-to-ceiling living room window. It was bright and beautiful outside this morning. And he was happy.

Will had left early that morning to head back to his own place and pick up a few things. He was coming straight back and should probably be arriving any minute. Benji wiped the sweat from his face and neck and was headed for the bathroom to wash the workout off him, when there was a knock on the door downstairs. He grabbed a hand towel from the bathroom and dried his face properly as he spun around and hurried down the stairs. On his way past the previously empty space between the kitchen and living room, he set his water bottle down on the simple, rectangular, pine dining table that now resided there. Will's insistence had finally convinced Benji to get a table. He never entertained, he'd never needed a table before, but now that he had one he wondered where he used to put all his mail, where he used to toss his house keys when he came home, and being able to throw a jacket onto the back of one of the chairs was so convenient Benji was beginning to forget what the inside of the downstairs closet looked like.

He opened the door to a short, brown-skinned, twenty-something woman with a pretty, round face and a cute, sleek black pixie haircut. She wore leggings, an oversized blouse that hung off one shoulder and little pointy-toed flats. She smiled brightly at Benji.

"Where've you been hiding?" she demanded. "I haven't seen you for weeks."

"Two weeks, approximately," Benji said. "Two weeks plus one weekend. What, can't live without me for sixteen days?"

"I've missed your pretty face is all. Just dropping by to make sure you haven't died."

"Well, here I am, beating heart, pumping blood, the whole nine. Good to see you, Claire. What's up?"

"Art show!" she exclaimed, her large, dark eyes widening with excitement.

"Right, right, you've got that show tonight."

"You forgot. I knew you'd forget."

"I did not forget. I just haven't checked my calendar yet today."

"You're coming, aren't you? I need you there."

"Course I'm coming, though I don't see why I'm so essential."

"You have to meet Alex!"

"Ugh, Claire, not another one –"

"No, no, this one will work, I swear to you. He's perfect, he's –"

"I appreciate the effort, really, but – and I'm sorry I didn't mention this sooner – but I'm not exactly, um… available."

Claire closed her mouth and stared at him incredulously. "Really?"

"Well, don't look so shocked. I'm capable of finding dates on my own, believe it or not."

"You? How? You're way too uptight to ask anybody out and you don't notice when someone likes you."

"He asked me out, I'll have you know."

She grinned. "Bet he had to practically sit on your face to get you to notice him."

She wasn't far off the mark there, but Benji ignored the comment, anyway.

"So, who is he? When do I get to meet him?" She gasped. "Is he coming to the show tonight? Oh, tell me you're bringing him to the show tonight!"

"His name is Will Brandt, and yes, I will bring him to the show tonight. And you might've already seen him around. He's been staying with me a while. 'S why I've been M.I.A."

Her eyes widened again. "Wait, wait, wait, wait. _Wait_. This wouldn't be that hot, broad-shouldered thing I've seen coming and going of late, would it?"

"Judging by your description, probably."

"He's almost always in sunglasses, always looks _super_ serious."

"Yeah, that's Will."

" _That's_ your man?"

"You sound shocked again."

"He doesn't seem your type. I mean, he's… he's all…" She gestured vaguely, her hands making wide shapes in the air.

"I know," Benji agreed.

"Will," Claire said. "William. William and Benji. Benji and William. Benjiam?"

"We already had that discussion."

"Well, what'd you decide? It's vitally important. I need to know these things."

"I'll tell you later. I've gotta go shower before he gets back."

"You're sure you're both coming to the art show tonight?"

"I'm positive."

"Because our friends need to see the two of you together, pronto. They were losing faith, Ben, saying it was time for you to give it up, get yourself a dog or a parakeet or something."

"Wait, what?"

"Now that you've gone and got yourself a big, strapping, hot thing, you need to show off, really rub it in their faces."

"They said I should get a dog?"

"Or a parakeet. Or a cat. What's the male equivalent of a spinster?"

Benji scowled. "All right, I get the picture."

"So, you're sure you're coming?"

" _Yes_ , Claire, we are coming tonight. We would rather saw our legs off with butter knives than fail to turn up at your show, all right?"

Claire opened her mouth to speak, but then glanced to her left and grinned. "Speak of the big, strapping, hot devil."

"Hi, how are you?" said Will's voice from just out of sight.

Claire, looking slightly starstruck, stepped to the side a bit and stammered, "H-hi. You must be Will."

"Yeah, hi." Will stepped into view with his hand extended and a smile on his face, his sunglasses shielding his eyes. He had a black duffel bag slung over one shoulder and a large, brown paper bag clutched in his left hand. "Will Brandt," he said to Claire.

"Will Brandt," Claire repeated a bit absently as she shook his hand. "Oh, um, Claire. Benji's friend and neighbor from one floor up."

"Yeah, hi, he's told me a lot about you." He released her hand and removed his sunglasses. He glanced at Benji with his radiant smile and said, "Hey, you."

"You are _gorgeous_ ," Claire said a bit breathlessly.

"Okay, that's enough of that," Benji interrupted. "Claire, don't you have something else you could be doing?"

"Hang on, what show were you talking about?" asked Will.

"My art show tonight," Claire said.

"Oh, right, right, yeah, Benji told me about that. Yeah, we're coming to that."

"Told you I remembered," Benji said.

"I just wasn't sure since I hadn't seen or heard from him in weeks," Claire explained, still staring up at Will in wonder.

"Yeah, sorry about that," said Will. "I've kinda had him holed up at home all this time. I'm not the most social animal."

"Oh, no worries. Now that I know what Benji's been doing while he's been hiding, I don't mind at all."

"Okay, bye-bye, Claire," Benji said, tugging on Will's sleeve.

"Hang on. Brandt. Brandt. Maybe you could do something with that."

Will looked questioningly at Benji as Benji pulled him inside.

"The name smush thing," Benji explained impatiently.

"Oh. You didn't tell her about Bendt?"

"Bendt?" Claire asked.

"Yeah, I came up with it. His first name, my last. Is that not good? I'd hate to disappoint Benji's friends, and as I understand it, this name-smush thing is 'highly important'."

Claire looked from Will to Benji and said with utmost seriousness, "Keep him. Keep him forever."

Benji had to smile. "I'll see you tonight," he said as he began to close the door.

"FOREVER!" she called just before the door closed.

"So, that's Claire," Will said once they were alone. "She seems nice."

"Bit of a busybody, but yeah, she's good for a laugh. What've you got there?"

"Clothes," Will said, hoisting his duffel bag up by its strap and setting it on the floor. "And my laptop and lots of mail." He then held up the paper bag. "Also, lunch."

"Smells like fish and chips."

"You smelled correctly." Will took the bag to the kitchen, set it down and went about grabbing beers and the good malt vinegar from the fridge.

"Dammit, I wanted to shower before you got back," Benji said. "Just worked out."

"You can still do that. I can wait. Oh, Fred says hi, by the way."

"Fred?"

"Homeless guy on the corner who sells those neat paintings of his."

"You talked to Fred?"

"Yeah, he's a cool guy," Will said as he unpacked the grease-stained cardboard boxes from the paper bag. "We talked for a bit. I would've been back a bit sooner, but I was talking to him and then I had to run back to the fish and chips place to replace the meal I gave him."

"You… gave him food?"

Will glanced back at Benji. "Yeah. That's okay, right? Should I not have done that? Is it that give-a-man-a-fish thing?"

"No, no, it's fine. That was nice of you."

Will grinned at him, then went back to pulling cutlery and napkins from the bag. "He knows I'm your boyfriend. Said it was obvious. Although he used the word 'lover'." Will shuddered. "Man, that word bums me out. So, anyway, I had to run back and buy another one of these. This one here." He held up one of the greasy boxes. "This is the fresher one, so it's yours. Fred says he wants to paint us, by the way. Free of charge. I said no way, if he paints us, we're paying him. Oh, and my mother called earlier, wants to know about that birthday party she mentioned. She was serious when she invited you. She wants us both there. I'm not sure we have a choice. She's laying the guilt on pretty hard. Are you gonna go shower or…" He stopped talking and glanced back at Benji again.

Benji blinked at him, then realized he'd been asked a question and stammered, "Oh, er, yeah, I'm just… yeah, I'll be right back."

"Okay." With a smile, Will stepped toward him and kissed his mouth. When he disengaged, he gazed at Benji and gently rubbed his arms. "Hi," he murmured.

"Hi," Benji replied. He felt a little dazed and he wasn't sure why. It wasn't a bad feeling, or even a confused one. It was nice, like he'd just been hit with a pleasant surprise. He wrapped his arms around Will's middle and hugged him. Will hugged him back.

"You okay?" Will asked.

"Yeah, I'm just… I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad to be here."

"You fit in here rather nicely. I wouldn't have expected that."

"I like your world. Better than my own, in fact. You know, I could hop in that shower with you if you wanted."

"Oh, no. You do that and lunch will be stone cold by the time we get out. I'll be back in ten." Benji pulled away and hurried toward the stairs. "Oh, by the way, there's mail for you." He pointed to a cardboard box on the dining table.

"For me? How? I don't live here."

"Just open it."

Benji lingered on the stairs and watched Will open the box containing his brand new, sleek, black eReader. Will smiled at the device. "Benji," he said to himself.

"Should be an e-mail in your inbox with a download link," Benji said, startling Will who hadn't realized he was still on the stairs. Will spun to look at him. "To download the books, I mean. Got all seven for you. I know you said physical copies, but this is so much better, trust me, you'll love it."

Will smiled at him. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I did this for myself. I cannot, in good conscious, be with someone who hasn't read the books."

"Right, of course. I suppose I shouldn't lecture you about how these things are putting all those adorable little book shops that line your street out of business, huh?"

"No, you shouldn't, and it's not even entirely true. Many used bookstores are still doing just fine, they specialize in hard-to-find books that you can't get in digital form. Besides, with your bad shoulder, I wouldn't want you lugging _Order of the Phoenix_ around with you. That'd just be cruel."

Will smiled. "Thank you, Benji," he repeated.

Benji shrugged. "You're welcome."

"Sure you don't want me to join you?"

Will did his sad-puppy thing again and Benji couldn't say no to him. He made a big deal of it, though, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. "Oh, all right. You can wash my back for me. And _only_ my back. I'm hungry, I'd like to eat sometime today."

Will immediately put the eReader down and hurried after Benji.

END

**Author's Note:**

>   * [X-Men kink meme prompt](http://ghotocol-kink.livejournal.com/1494.html?thread=487894#t487894)
>   * I'm sure you've all seen it already, but here's [Renner singing his original song _My World_ on The View](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=QHpeg7ugA1g#t=338s)
>   * Same with this one, but here it is anyway: [bb!Renner with a mullet](http://shaybriel.tumblr.com/post/21955764167/hughjockman)
>   * [Pegg's Quantum Attraction theory](http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/oct/17/simon-pegg-interview%20), also mentioned in his autobiography _Nerd Do Well_.
> 



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